Who Among Us Has Not Stepped Through This Door? – Theresa Smith

All of the treatments were, in their own ways, total hells, but the treatment for high-inference psychosis was probably the worst of them. They stick you in this bright little room with lots of windows and an old computer and make you watch a movie. So in the first scene of this movie there’s a man driving a pickup truck full of yellow bricks over a narrow, rickety bridge. The bridge sways and collapses and the truck pitches into the river below.



The Cycle of Swords – Ryan Bry

(inspired​ ​by​ ​​Citizen​ ​Kane​)

The​ ​clock​ ​ticked​ ​until​ ​it​ ​fell​ ​off​ ​the​ ​wall.​ ​​ ​We​ ​were​ ​there,​ ​when​ ​it​ ​happened.​ ​​ ​We decided​ ​we​ ​would​ ​be​ ​there​ ​and​ ​we​ ​were​ ​discussing​ ​the​ ​way​ ​that​ ​old​ ​men​ ​exit​ ​their​ ​cars when​ ​we​ ​heard​ ​the​ ​​tick-tick-crash​.​ ​​ ​We​ ​paused​ ​and​ ​then​ ​returned​ ​to​ ​our​ ​discussion,​ ​not bothering​ ​with​ ​the​ ​wounded​ ​keeper​ ​of​ ​time.​ ​​ ​There​ ​was​ ​a​ ​certain​ ​way​ ​that​ ​Jay​ ​Bengrove Parks​ ​got​ ​out​ ​of​ ​his​ ​Mercedes​ ​that​ ​perplexed​ ​us,​ ​his​ ​eyes​ ​still​ ​used​ ​to​ ​the​ ​motion​ ​and​ ​his body​ ​still​ ​used​ ​to​ ​sitting.​ ​​ ​Maybe​ ​some​ ​dicrotic-beated​ ​song​ ​had​ ​played​ ​on​ ​the​ ​radio​ ​and his​ ​essence​ ​keenly​ ​searched​ ​for​ ​new​ ​information.​ ​​ ​New​ ​information.​ ​​ ​That’s​ ​the​ ​point​ ​of it​ ​all,​ ​right?​ ​​ ​Hold​ ​on​ ​.​ ​.​ ​.​ ​point​ ​of​ ​it​ ​all?​ ​​ ​We’re​ ​gonna​ ​have​ ​to​ ​radio​ ​Jim​ ​“No​ ​Plan” Gallagher​ ​on​ ​that​ ​one.



Daily Mainichi News Wire – Sprague Dawley

 Japan To Publish Own Bible.

–Japan Times–

Japan, renowned for its insular & xenophobic ways, is said to have grown sick of the “gaijin bible” and is set to publish their own version of the all-time best-selling fantasy novel. “Foreigner bible is Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. It is 100% gaijin” lamented Japan’s Minister for Upskirt Haberdashery, Dr Masahiro Sato.



Two Poems – Lee Levinson

Notes on Frequenting Trapdoors


We burn through water like it’s blood, so say goodbye to your familial ties.

I will gut your rotisserie chicken from inside you with a double edged costco card.

Best you don’t get too complacent in your jissom tinged opiatic drawers;

curtsy cute like and sit in shit.

Impending orgasmic tickles are a falsehood;