Never Negotiate: Ted Prokash – Manuel Marrero

Never Negotiate, a running review series and tribute to the uncowed, industrious torch bearers of underground lit , or a hybrid of interview, deep readership and cursory biography cobbled together with healthy dollops of neurosis #1: Journey to the Center of the Onion, Ted Prokash.


            At the risk of spoiling a cold open in favor of something less abrupt, schlocky and absent lucid motivation, some kind of stodgy preamble is what no one wants but I’ll give you anyway because you deserve it sort of thing.



Who Among Us Has Not Stepped Through This Door? – Theresa Smith

All of the treatments were, in their own ways, total hells, but the treatment for high-inference psychosis was probably the worst of them. They stick you in this bright little room with lots of windows and an old computer and make you watch a movie. So in the first scene of this movie there’s a man driving a pickup truck full of yellow bricks over a narrow, rickety bridge. The bridge sways and collapses and the truck pitches into the river below.



The Cycle of Swords – Ryan Bry

(inspired​ ​by​ ​​Citizen​ ​Kane​)

The​ ​clock​ ​ticked​ ​until​ ​it​ ​fell​ ​off​ ​the​ ​wall.​ ​​ ​We​ ​were​ ​there,​ ​when​ ​it​ ​happened.​ ​​ ​We decided​ ​we​ ​would​ ​be​ ​there​ ​and​ ​we​ ​were​ ​discussing​ ​the​ ​way​ ​that​ ​old​ ​men​ ​exit​ ​their​ ​cars when​ ​we​ ​heard​ ​the​ ​​tick-tick-crash​.​ ​​ ​We​ ​paused​ ​and​ ​then​ ​returned​ ​to​ ​our​ ​discussion,​ ​not bothering​ ​with​ ​the​ ​wounded​ ​keeper​ ​of​ ​time.​ ​​ ​There​ ​was​ ​a​ ​certain​ ​way​ ​that​ ​Jay​ ​Bengrove Parks​ ​got​ ​out​ ​of​ ​his​ ​Mercedes​ ​that​ ​perplexed​ ​us,​ ​his​ ​eyes​ ​still​ ​used​ ​to​ ​the​ ​motion​ ​and​ ​his body​ ​still​ ​used​ ​to​ ​sitting.​ ​​ ​Maybe​ ​some​ ​dicrotic-beated​ ​song​ ​had​ ​played​ ​on​ ​the​ ​radio​ ​and his​ ​essence​ ​keenly​ ​searched​ ​for​ ​new​ ​information.​ ​​ ​New​ ​information.​ ​​ ​That’s​ ​the​ ​point​ ​of it​ ​all,​ ​right?​ ​​ ​Hold​ ​on​ ​.​ ​.​ ​.​ ​point​ ​of​ ​it​ ​all?​ ​​ ​We’re​ ​gonna​ ​have​ ​to​ ​radio​ ​Jim​ ​“No​ ​Plan” Gallagher​ ​on​ ​that​ ​one.



Daily Mainichi News Wire – Sprague Dawley

 Japan To Publish Own Bible.

–Japan Times–

Japan, renowned for its insular & xenophobic ways, is said to have grown sick of the “gaijin bible” and is set to publish their own version of the all-time best-selling fantasy novel. “Foreigner bible is Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. It is 100% gaijin” lamented Japan’s Minister for Upskirt Haberdashery, Dr Masahiro Sato.