3 Chundered Bits from Also Sprach Sprague – Sprague Dawley

Korean Teens Pimp Out Their Grannies For Booze Money.

–Seoul Times–

Reports are coming through of enterprising Korean teens pimping out their grandmothers for fucken beer money.
“Root my whinging lemon-faced nana

so I can get on the piss.”
-enterprising Korean teen.

“My grandmother is old as shit but the rooting’s cheap” said one half pissfaced teen. “$50 and I’ll take you around to her place and tell her to stop fucken crying for 5 fucken minutes for fucks sake it might be the last root she ever gets.”

One slightly more somber bespectacled teen (pictured below, bottom right) wielded a placard with no photo as “my nana fucken died but I want in on the booze action so fuckit $50 for a dead root, I’ll take you to the gravesite and hold the fucken flashlight for ya. Fucken psycho-cocked wackjob ah fuck it make it $30”
Korean sign (bottom right) reading “Nana died but it wasn’t THAT long ago so the rooting’s probably still a go come on cunts pay up I need to get on the piss PAY NOW WHILE STOCKS LAST NO FUCKEN REFUNDS YA FUCKEN PSYCHO-COCKED FUCKHEAD.”

Nuremburg Barbie Defects to Mexico.

–NY Times–

Amidst today’s confusion in the US over the uncertain residential status of Middle Eastern immigrants, President Trump’s Nuremburg Barbie has quietly gone and defected to fuckin’ Mexico.
“Hola, cunts.”
–Nuremburg Barbie in sunny downtown Mexico.

The blonde-haired reptilian ex-advisor to President Trump tonight explained that “I just cannot afford to donate any more of my fucken hair to the Trumpster. I’m getting dangerously thin up there. Plus, the orange cunt’s already fracked my pubes halfway to fucken Tijuana and back and gone and sewn the poor little cunts to the top of his fuckin head.”

Upon being informed of the defection, President Trump immediately announced open auditions on the 25th floor of Trump Tower for the vacant position of Presidential Advisor “open to all chicks with blonde hair and big fucken blonde bushes.”

Local Pedo Misunderstands Concept Of “Animal Husbandry.”


A local pedo looking to branch out into a bit of dogfucking has visited his local dog pound but sadly completely misunderstood the concept of “animal husbandry.”
“Animal husbandry? Get fucked, not in it

for the long haul with Fido, I’m just some randy
cunt looking to spice up his love life a bit over here.”
–Local pedo Mr Bruce Saint.

After having a long and extremely heated conversation at the animal shelter, Mr Saint was finally convinced that no, fucking a dog does not make you the animal’s legal husband and, no, the dog pound does not rent out dogs for the night, no Sir, it’s not a brothel, and, finally, no Sir, dog pound’s do not currently have “extradition treaties” with nearby neighbouring zoo’s.