3 Chundered Bits from Also Sprach Sprague – Sprague Dawley
July 18, 2017
Korean Teens Pimp Out Their Grannies For Booze Money.
Reports are coming through of enterprising
Korean teens pimping out their grandmothers for fucken beer money. 
“Root my whinging lemon-faced nana
-enterprising Korean teen.
“My grandmother is old as shit but the rooting’s cheap” said one half pissfaced teen. “$50 and I’ll take you around to her place and tell her to stop fucken crying for 5 fucken minutes for fucks sake it might be the last root she ever gets.”
One slightly more somber bespectacled teen (pictured below, bottom right) wielded a placard with no photo as “my nana fucken died but I want in on the booze action so fuckit $50 for a dead root, I’ll take you to the gravesite and hold the fucken flashlight for ya. Fucken psycho-cocked wackjob ah fuck it make it $30”
Korean sign (bottom right) reading “Nana died but it wasn’t THAT long ago so the rooting’s probably still a go come on cunts pay up I need to get on the piss PAY NOW WHILE STOCKS LAST NO FUCKEN REFUNDS YA FUCKEN PSYCHO-COCKED FUCKHEAD.”
–NY Times–
Amidst today’s confusion in the US over the uncertain residential status of Middle Eastern immigrants, President Trump’s Nuremburg Barbie has quietly gone and defected to fuckin’ Mexico.
“Hola, cunts.”
–Nuremburg Barbie in sunny downtown Mexico.
The blonde-haired reptilian ex-advisor to President Trump tonight explained that “I just cannot afford to donate any more of my fucken hair to the Trumpster. I’m getting dangerously thin up there. Plus, the orange cunt’s already fracked my pubes halfway to fucken Tijuana and back and gone and sewn the poor little cunts to the top of his fuckin head.”
Upon being informed of the defection, President Trump immediately announced open auditions on the 25th floor of Trump Tower for the vacant position of Presidential Advisor “open to all chicks with blonde hair and big fucken blonde bushes.”
–RST–
A local pedo looking to branch out into a bit of dogfucking has visited his local dog pound but sadly completely misunderstood the concept of “animal husbandry.”
“Animal husbandry? Get fucked, not in it
–Local pedo Mr Bruce Saint.
After having a long and extremely heated conversation at the animal shelter, Mr Saint was finally convinced that no, fucking a dog does not make you the animal’s legal husband and, no, the dog pound does not rent out dogs for the night, no Sir, it’s not a brothel, and, finally, no Sir, dog pound’s do not currently have “extradition treaties” with nearby neighbouring zoo’s.