A Love Poem by Ahab Candomblé – G.R. Tomaini
December 22, 2022
Only a stupid poet . . .
could think a poem ,
capable of capturing your beauty !
The honey of the beecomb ,
tastes not as sweet ,
as your blushing kisses .
Magnificent girl ,
into the curls of your hair ,
will I swirl .
Girl ! Here I stand ,
in your shadow ,
lightened by your glimmer .
Purple majesty !
You reign over my heart ,
will you care for your property ?
O ! Who ever had —
in his sights — a beauty
such as you , to bless his eyes ?
You ! What spell
have you cast over me ?
I am yours .
My maiden ,
how much longer will you
make me wait , to love you ?
Who birthed you —
Aphrodite ? Beauty ! —
will you consider my outstretched hand ?
Chasity , for you !
For a face as fine as yours ,
will chaste I keep ; marry me ?
beauties such as you ,
made ? Surely in heaven . . .
I thought I smelled your perfume —
in a shopping center the other day —
but then , it was only a bundle of roses .
Will your delicate hands —
fit into this diamond ring —
that belonged to my grandmother ?
My heart flails its
vulnerable side to you —
will you reject it ?
Be with me !
Be with me forever !
I offer my soul to you —
do you accept ?
Oh good . That trite love poetry ,
will have successfully disguised
this urgent plea for help . . .
By the time you are reading this ,
it may well be too late for me !
If you ‘ re reading this —
that means that my letter made it out ;
I risked everything to get this
outside ; I only pray my captors
don ‘ t find it first . . .
Here ‘ s the story — I ‘ m being held
against my will — on a farm — somewhere
in Vermont . I can ‘ t remember where .
This place is a living hell —
I ‘ m gnashing my teeth just
thinking about it . Every night , they
torture me — and they really enjoy it ,
the sickos . They get off on it — they even
recorded it , one time ! They said they ‘ ll
play it back for me later . . . and that I ‘ ll
eventually grow to like it , just like they do .
I can ‘ t think about my pride , right now ,
or about how much I ‘ ve suffered
under this roof . . . If you want the truth
I almost wish I were dead . They ‘ ve made
my life such a living hell — it ‘ s gruesome .
A few hours ago , they took my friends .
I don ‘ t know where they took them —
or what happened to them — I only know ,
that whatever happened to them . . .
was absolutely horrific . I ‘ m sorry —
I just teared a little bit —
and a few tears fell on this letter .
Please don ‘ t mind that — I can ‘ t help it .
I can barely bring myself to finish this —
I ‘ ll try to wrap it up as soon as I can .
Before you even finish reading this letter —
call the cops ! I need a helicopter squad
searching for me . Make sure they have
SWAT teams search every farm in Vermont .
It ‘ s the only way they ‘ re ever going to find me .
One of my captors drives a Toyota Prius ,
and the other one drives a blue minivan ,
I forget which company makes it —
guess it doesn ‘ t matter too much —
so that should help narrow down their search .
Call the cops ! Do it ! I don ‘ t have much time left :
I can feel it . Tell them to send dog teams , too —
who knows what we ‘ re up against .
Now that you ‘ ve returned to the letter —
after calling the cops — I need you to
call all of the major news stations
and alert them to my status . . .
as a prisoner against my will .
Put down this letter and do it , friend !
Now ! And on second thoughts ,
call the cops again — maybe have them
send in the air force to fly a few jets
around the tri – state area — my captives
told me that they can do a lot
worse than I could ever imagine —
so we can ‘ t take any chances !
Hey , maybe you could even get
Spiderman to come rescue me ?
That ‘ d be cool — he ‘ s my favorite
superhero . Could you call him up ?
My stupid captives won ‘ t ever let me
go see his movies , even though
all of my friends at school are allowed
to go see them whenever they please .
It took all that I could do ,
to persuade them to buy me
the recent Spiderman action figures . . .
Once I got them , I played with them
non – stop , and for hours . I kept being
too tired to do my homework , so my
captives eventually took my action figures
away — which was a few hours ago . Now ,
they ‘ ve got me holed up in the attic ,
until I have learned my lesson —
I don ‘ t know what these sickos think
my lesson is , but the only lessons ,
that I damn sure know anything about ,
are the ones that Mrs . Hendrickson —
who teaches the second grade at my school ,
teaches me during class . But ! my captives
are really sinister — that ‘ s why I stopped
calling them my parents , and started
calling them my captives — I don ‘ t know
what kind of lesson these sickos have
in mind for me , but I know it won ‘ t be
another same old , same old multiplication
lesson , like the kinds Mrs . Hendrickson gives .
Those lessons are super hard — but nothing
compares to the grief of losing my best friends —
my superman action figures — oh ! and let me
tell you what they did to me , earlier this evening .
My captives — they told me — the sickos —
that they ‘ d prepared a real special supper
for me — the sickos even said I would like it .
Then — they had the nerve to place a plate
in front of me , covered with sesame tofu ,
and garlic broccoli — it makes me want to
puke , just thinking about it !
Aw no , I just puked all over this letter .
I don ‘ t have another sheet of paper —
so it ‘ ll have to do . I started wailing —
I said I wouldn ‘ t eat it . Then they
freaked out — being sickos , after all —
and forced me to eat the broccoli . . .
It ‘ s difficult for me to write about !
I ‘ m sorry , I just spilled some more tears
onto this letter . Look ! I ‘ m sensitive !
They can ‘ t do this to me ! It ‘ s illegal !
I don ‘ t know what these sickos
think that they are doing — but I learned
about the constitution in Mrs . Hendrickson ‘ s
class — my parents can ‘ t get away with this —
please , get Spiderman , have him rescue me —
and then he ‘ ll turn my parents over
to the coppers , and they ‘ ll arrest these —
boogerheads ! I ‘ m kind of sleepy — I ‘ ll finish here .
Mommie gave me some sleepy time
milk , and it has really worn me out .
Ugh — I loathe her — how could she
take away my Spidermans , and
force me to eat “ healthy ” broccoli?
Despicable ! It isn ‘ t fair , and she ‘ ll
find out the hard way — believe me —
when she ‘ s doing time in a federal prison .
And don ‘ t get me started on Papa —
I realized my life was a living hell ,
when he told me that I couldn ‘ t get
the inflatable bouncy house , that
I wanted from the store . My life
is so hard ! Papa may even get the
electric chair , who knows ! He ‘ s a real
sicko , too . Okay — I ‘ ll throw this
out of the window , and hope
to dearest God someone finds it —
and sends help ! Remember :
send the helicopter search teams !
Yours fondly ,
Ahab Candomblé ,
Sargasso State Preparatory Academy