advertisement3 – Marston Hefner

September 4, 2020

        The crowd dispersed and the people went back and away and the son was wondering how much longer he had to stay there. Not much longer said his father. I brought up the fact that we wanted something we did not own but could have purchased if we did not have colors. The only ones were the words in the sentences before they could help them I wondered just what they were doing. We just wondered how could they wander if they were the why did we just anyways in the movements wonder who was just there and then why did they not believe the times before the houses. We wanted and we wanted and then when the wanting stopped we worried and how we worried more than the last man who came from Christmas in Japan is actually beautiful, the snow falls in Tokyo on the buildings, and the snow falls in Tokyo, on the skyscrapers as well. 
        Send your submission to anything but a submitter I fell in love with her hair and the way her nose was buttoned I can’t stop thinking about her nor can I stop thinking how old she is getting and in a few years time I will be in my prime and she will be less
        there and the wondering the thing the worrying to be committing to is the what do I commit my life to what is it in I am in this fight for is it writing and am I in this for the writing and is this fighting the right thing with the writing being the most important
        I just want to fuck her.
        Over and over again.
        Again and again.
        Until I get bored fucking her. And I get bored with her. And then I move on and I’m alone. 
        What do I do if writing feels like a waste of time?
        I forgot the sentence that came before. I only cared about what I wanted to come then and then I got lost in the sentence which I had to switch off the sentence that came then because there was the fast in the nonsense moment the words were just what they would be there they had to be just described as a breakthrough in thinking. And art.
        This current project was to dissolve in my shame. That failed and so I am writing this next sentence instead. What do you think?
        Do you find me attractive?
        Are any of us as attractive as believe ourselves to be?
        I found I loved her?
        I found limerence attractive?
        I never wanted anything but eternal limerence?
        I never actually wanted?
        Anything at all?
        Anything really real?
        I looked at the writing competition and, “Holy fuck, these guys are good,” John Trefry, Daniel Beauregard. I need to take a break. I am growing tired thinking and seeing all of my peers, they were very impressive. I’m going to have to take a break from paying attention to what my peers are doing. They are very impressive.

        Now you could imagine it so you don’t have to stop imagining it I want you to keep on imagining it and then I want you so stop imagining. 

        Or you don’t stop imagining and keep going.

 

        You love her or you want her is a quest in the name when I was nine years old I loved Everquest, a virtual RPG game full of millions of other users. A world in itself, I fell in love with, drinking fountains from computer games. I fell in love with, pixels come to life. The game feeling was better than the real world, so much stress at school. I want a home away from home, an Everquest in the real world, a woman or a place to escape I do believe, my latter years obsession with romantic love was the desire for escape. A period piece. My desires have not much changed, a boy is an idea wanting to be formed into a man. A man is formed to this day named Marston Hefner made an attempt at attacking the escaping desire was found as a man a more stressful endeavor than simply embracing the everyday mindset and now that I am here in this world I do find I love writing daily and I do find I love my routine though the truth is yoga I am hating but the truth is exercise important thought the truth is pain is necessary for happiness. 

        I would like to get out of the maze.

        Form, a word or a sentence. Say, a word or a sentence. Could I begin the love for a sentence were I could make you the lover for true love for a grave sentence was made there were a grave a love for a cemetery, grave and a lover for the sentence. A lover of the sentence. A grave, contain. I broke, into the honda. I made, love to her. She was 3 years old. I loved her, harder grave. A harder earned grave, a bed was made, a grave. I had, a bed a grave. I made, a grave. I made, a bed. I made, a grave-bed. I did not, want to die. 

        If sometimes someone were to try to really put forth their effort to break apart a sentence into a whole thing and a man were to bring the sentence down to earth I would breathe a breath sigh of relief into his heart and his heart would grow larger push the sentence away from the ear and bring to the forefront of an August sunlight it would be summer in a cottage in the woods is a recurring image and I was sultry with lust for his cabin home which I wanted. A home away form home a cabin modelled after a man I could only trust my own thought I wanted all he wanted the words all of the words inside him stomach. He wanted the feeble he wanted the strong, all of it in his stomach. All of the vocabularies. He wanted all of it and would not stop until he learned it. And when one stops does not one person ever stop to think, “It is for sure better the man continued to go.” Yes the man went and did not starve to death.
        If one wanted to making something of the story the story must be told first then revise and then world will see worth of producing such story. But if one were to forget a moment world then one could begin again writing sentences would be revealing anything Gertrude Stein said, and if one should want to instead follow along to someone else should be fine. 

        Take a break, have a break, this is the break. 

        There, I had a break. I could not just what do you mean who were you why were you there were just I could not believe it did You Marvin how could you I wouldn’t have believed it Marvin why would you just did you were holy moly you just did and I can’t believe it’s so. 
        We were all a little worried there but thank god it passed, the 70s really were a wild time but reality is rather sturdy. That is a fact for anyone who is not just who do you think you wanted to be in the 70s was it you were just as lost as Wittgenstein it’s forgivable even to be a fan in 2020. It is fine even now I mean it doesn’t mean, it does not seem Modernism has failed at all. Gertrude Stein is just shining. We all fall in love do we not and we do continue to grow and evolve and the.  
        This is a listless disposition a gloomy tone of voice is what gets me through the day sometimes. 

        Sepulchral: Gloomy and/or dismal. 

        Listen, I cannot get enough of John Trefry. Could you courageously if you don’t know me there were others who could not just what were they doing if they could not just only just how limited the scope of your presence on my I could not really why try to write like of all of them if they all of them can hardly do it just right, but to be honest I read a piece of mine from just a month ago and Lord it was short in basically all the ways which makes one think what one could do to get to a better place in one’s writing and then that one becomes an I and when the I gets involved then one can really solve the problem for, “I” have no problem with my writing at all!
        I wanted to wear underwear with no pants on and the gloomiest of seasons was when once I arrived on the plane in the afternoon it waned the sun set and the sun planed and the moon set and the earth trained to stop at the drop o a hat a bottom o a barrel the trick is to stopworryking for Christ all mighty. Did it travel and why did we all have to go? How long was it? I surely got tired. There were only so many steps forward to the tunnel and through it I believed it was white and partial darkness and beams I could see through it to the other side.
        Went into the, opening sector. There could be, but probably would not be, unless you count all the, I tried to, but you could not do, the demeaning thing I did not want the ways were so full I just could not truly, I just could not. I just could not do it. And I’m sorry. And I’m lonely. But the only prophecy is only, here for a month more then leaving, on to something other than this world.