ANTE-MORTEM – Greta Kaluževičiūtė

April 12, 2026

I WOULD LIKE YOU
TO PLACE ME SOMEWHERE

MAYBE UNDERGROUND

SOMEWHERE YOU COULD COME VISIT
AND BRING FLOWERS LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO

AFTER THE LONG
UNDOING OF NIGHT

I WRITE THIS UNDER THE BLANKET
STILL WARM

WAITING OUT YOUR RETURN
EVEN IF I DO NOT SHOW IT

I HIDE

I PRACTISE
A FORM OF VICIOUS MODESTY

THIS UNFAITHFUL
COLD OVERATTENTIVE STRUCTURE

PERSISTS IN ATTACHMENT
LINGERS
EVEN WHEN IT PRETENDS
NOT TO

IT WOULD BE THE SAME THEN

ME BENEATH THE GROUND
WAITING FOR YOU

SOIL INSTEAD OF BLANKET
FLOWERS INSTEAD OF FERTILISER

PRESSING DOWN
AGAINST ME
LIKE A MEMORIAL STONE YOU ONCE THREW

OR YOU COULD PLACE ME IN AN URN

LIKE A SPECK OF DUST

A PEELED OFF SKIN CELL

A PARTICLE OF MINERALS
EARTH
AND MICROORGANISMS

IT MIGHT EVEN FEEL CLOSE

WE COULD STILL MOVE THROUGH ROOMS
THROUGH DIMLY LIT SPACES

AS IF I STAYED
JUST OUT OF SIGHT
BUT NOT OUT OF REACH

DRESS ME IN SOMETHING DARK
SHOW ME TO NO ONE ELSE

MY EROSION LIKE MY LIFE
IS MEANT ONLY FOR YOU

CHOOSE BEAUTIFUL PHOTOGRAPHS OF ME
YOU KNOW THE ONES I LIKE

YOU MAY PUBLISH SOME OF MY TEXTS
AND MY DIARIES

WHEN I DIE
MY SENSE OF VICIOUS MODESTY
MAY DIE TOO

STRIP THE PAGES OPEN
LET STRANGERS TOUCH
WHAT I LET YOU KEEP

MAYBE SOMEWHERE

SOMEONE WILL TAKE IN
THESE NORTHERN
CRUDE
ALMOST UNLOVING LINES

AND FOR A SECOND

IN THE DIMNESS
OF THE AFTERLIFE

I MIGHT THINK

IT WAS ENOUGH

I WRITE THIS UNDER THE BLANKET
STILL WARM

WAITING OUT YOUR RETURN

THIS UNFAITHFUL
COLD OVERATTENTIVE STRUCTURE
PERSISTS IN ATTACHMENT

AND

WILL REAPPEAR
IN YOUR VICINITY

I AM THIS

DARK
ESTRANGED
NOTHING LOVING
BEING

AND STILL

I ALWAYS RETURN

TO YOU