Armed Response Raid 27.07.2020 – E.F. Fluff

Approximately 9pm




I had just finished dinner, and was sitting in house clothes, taking a break from paperwork, playing some computer games.

To reiterate – I have repeatedly told Kevin Street Garda Station that should I be required for anything, be it serving papers or charges, I would attend the station. I have multiple phone recordings to this effect. I have told them in person.

I have been routinely denied access to their Access Officer. 

Not only have I told Kevin Street this, but I have an active history of attending the station when requested. I have attended to be served a summons. 


Preliminary Note 1:


There was no forewarning, no attempt to talk to me by any normal Gardai without an armed response unit / emergency unit / fully armed SWAT team. The Armed Response Unit was not in response to anything. I had not done anything to warrant a full SWAT raid on my apartment. I have no record. I have no history of owning firearms. I have no military background, no connection to the IRA or any other military force. I had not spoken to any Gardai. Nor had any Gardai indicated they wished to speak to me, or gain entrance to my property, at any stage. 


Preliminary Note 2:


At no point prior to the raid, prior to breaching my door, or after my door was breached, until I was taken to Kevin Street, and not until I was strip searched was I told why I was being raided. 


Preliminary Note 3: 


Kevin Street Gardai Station have been aware of my name change. They are attempting to void my deed poll by refusing to acknowledge my legal change because it doesn’t suit, and they appear to think my change has something to with them.

My changing my name to E.F. Fluff has nothing to do with Kevin Street Gardai. It is my artist writing name, and it is the name tied to my coming out as non-binary gender queer. The constant taunting of this is a  low-minded, tiring form of bullying and prejudice. 

The term in the community for an old name is dead name.


Incident: Approx: 8:50/9pm 


There was a sudden loud banging at the door followed by “Open Up.” followed by some voices saying things I couldn’t hear, then more banging,  then “Open up this is an armed response unit.” then Open up this is the Gardai. Open the fucking door.They also shouted my dead name, as in, the name I no longer use due to a deed poll name change. I told them I wouldn’t be opening the door and asked them why they were there. They demanded I open the door again. I believe they said I had to open the door or they would open it or put it in / smash it in.

I could not open the door even if I wanted to. The banging and shouting had immediately triggered my PTSD, and I had already begun to shake.

I believe I said this, and asked again why they were here, and if they had a warrant, and then told them I would not be opening the door and to “Fuck off.”

I walked back into my spare room, and sat down, and continued smoking my cigarette. As I did so, I could hear the lead Armed Response Unit give the demand to “breach the door,” and “put the fucking door in.”

After a series of loud bangs and cracking of wood and plaster, the door was smashed in. 

There were I think, one Armed Response Unit member behind a metal SWAT shield. And three around him, with guns. 

The Armed Response Unit lead demanded I come into the hallway. I believe I said no. The demand was made again with the threat of force. I walked slowly to the doorway of the room I was in. I had my hands out, and slightly raised. I was told to put them higher over my head, and then I was told to come forward and to them, up the stairs.

I told them no. And kept saying no to this.  They did not seem to grasp this reaction, and demanded it several times. They demanded “Come to us” again. I told them “No. I fucking can’t. I have fucking PTSD. You know this, you’ve been here before. Look at me! I can’t fucking move.” I was shaking quite badly. 

The Armed Response Unit lead then asked, “Then can we come to you?” This seemed bizarre, and I replied, “I don’t fucking know. You’re the ones with the fucking guns.” They asked again, and I said “Of course you can fucking come to me you’re the ones with the fucking guns.”

As they came down the stairs, I again asked them why they were here, and where was the warrant. As the first Armed Response Unit Lead reached me he said “We can do this because of what happened last time.” I believe I said “I don’t think that’s legal.” He then said something about me being a danger to the public. I kept saying I’m pretty sure you need a warrant.

They refused to tell me why they were there. They refused to produce a warrant. I was roughly handcuffed in the hallway. I was cuffed so tightly that it took two or three of them to get the cuff off my right hand in the station. I asked could I at least put on underwear. I was told there would be time for that.

They kept using my dead name, telling me “Turn around XXX.” I said “don’t call me that, it’s not my name. I won’t answer to it. Call me Fluff.”

I saw an Armed Response Unit member go into my living room, which has been derelict since the last raid, and heard something smashing in a box.

There was tall normal uniform garda, and another, and a woman garda who seemed to be having a great time and was all smiles.

Two of them searched me. I was wearing only socks, a t-shirt, and a pair of house shorts with no underwear. They went through my pockets and everything. It was quite thorough. They, the Gardai and Armed Response Unit were discussing about where they could take me to sit down. Two of them walked into the spare room. They said the spare room was not good for sitting down. The Armed Response Unit lead asked could they take me. 

There was one normal uniform Garda who was kinda fat. One very tall one, and one woman Garda, and I think maybe one or two other normal uniform Garda.

I could hear disparaging comments about the state of my home. I continued to ask why they were there, where was the warrant.

They went into the bedroom, to clear it, one of them kicked the hoover against the wall. I saw a Garda check under my mattress, then I was brought into the bedroom and made to sit down on the bed. I had a Garda behind me, and there was the Armed Response Unit lead in front of me, and I think another by the door.

I kept asking for a warrant, and I kept asking why they had raided me. I was not told. 

A168 Brian Peter Gillan then entered the room. He was smiling. He seemed to be enjoying himself. I do not know why, perhaps besides dramatic effect, but he made a point of pausing in front of me and picking up a loose string from a woollen blanket and trying to pull it  up, then as it was caught on the hoover, he threw it away. I believe I said something like “Oh it’s you. You fucking tortured me.” A168 Brian Peter Gillan began using my dead name, “Hello XXX,” I told him not to use that name and that I would only answer to Fluff. He began to taunt me about this, by calling me “XXX-Fluff” and trying to fit that as many times into a sentence as possible.

I told him and the Armed Response Unit Lead “I would not speak to him because he tortured me” and to A168 Brian Peter Gillan I said “You fucking tortured me.” A168 Brian Peter Gillan then said “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I didn’t torture you.” and “You’re going to come with me.” I told A168 Brian Peter Gillan that he should look up the definition of torture. 

The Armed Response Unit Lead got aggressive and in my face during this repeating “Are you resisting, are you resisting.” 

I refused to go with A168 Brian Peter Gillan. I refused to speak to him other than to repeat. “You tortured me” and “You destroyed evidence” and “you lied to a hospital”. Based on previous experience with A168 Brian Peter Gillan, I asked dryly, “Is this where you plant the drugs or where I get taken away for an extrajudicial killing?” I continued loudly saying and also shouting about being tortured by A168 as I was led into the corridor. 

A168 Brian Peter Gillan tried to take a hold of me and I recoiled away from me.

While I was being led into the corridor, and also while I was again demanding to know why they were there, and where the warrant was, the ERU or Armed Response Unit Lead leaned into my ear and said “Calm down, it’s just a search.” To which I believe I said “If it’s just a search, why is no one searching anything?” I asked to be able to put on proper clothes, and at least a pair of underwear, I was told I had that chance if I had cooperated.

My dead name kept being repeated at me, I kept correcting them to my real name. When I was brought to the hallway, I believe I said “You’re seriously going to take me out there, without telling me why you’re here.” I was told “You’re under arrest.” I replied “For what? For what am I under arrest?” I was never told. 

When we got to the stairs, I was still asking them, the Gardai, was this the bit where they planted the drugs on me, and still telling A168 Brian Peter Gillan that he had tortured me. 

Eager to get it over with, I began walking faster than the armed response unit holding my arm who kept telling me to slow down on the march down the stairs.

At the letter box area of the ground floor of my apartment building, they stopped me and asked about my shoes. The woman Garda cheerfully offered that she had taken my boots. They told her to put them on. A168 Brian Peter Gillan insisted on taking one of the boots and insisting that he put it on. I said I would do nothing for him, and kept repeating that he had tortured me. I was repeatedly asked was I resisting. I said no, I’m just not doing anything for that man because he tortured me and lied to a hospital.

I let the woman Garda put my left boot on. A168 Brian Peter Gillan insisted on trying to put my right boot on, and could not lift my left. I refused to lift my leg for him, and he could not lift it. I was bustled against the wall and told to stop resisting him stop resisting him. At this point an ERU member behind me took my handcuffed hands and twisted them around the corner of the way and then into the cuffs. This brought a very sharp pain, and my wrist to my hand has been numb since. 

Eventually they managed to help A168 Brian Peter Gillan lift my right leg and get the boot on.

They walked me out onto the street, and I could see people at the pizza restaurant with their camera phones. I was put in the back of the van. I kept shouting about being tortured by A168 Brian Peter Gillan.

On the way to the van, I said I was supposed to get the choice of being taken to a hospital. They told me they’d get me a doctor at the station. I repeatedly asked to be taken to the hospital, I was ignored. “Oh we’ll get you a doctor” I was told.

They took me to the station. They brought me to the charges window. They seemed to have every Garda possible there. I think I had 3-5 Garda on either side of me at every point for this part. They kept walking around me slapping and snapping their rubber gloves. Very few of them wore masks. I kept asking why I was there. I was told again “We can do this because of what happened last time.” I told the Gardai “I told you I would present to the station if I was requested. I told you I have PTSD. I told you I have PTSD. I told you I would attend the station if required. I have attended the station when asked. I have audio recordings of this. I said I would attend the station. Why am I here, why has this happened? I told you I have PTSD.”

There was a conversation about the ARU/ERU about how they’re happy when no one dies, and happy for the overtime and the day out. Once again Kevin Street Gardai talk about things as if they can’t hear me.

I was told “You know how this works?” – I said “no. I want a doctor, I want my solicitor.” There was a bit of a delay, before the rights were being read to me. I asked him to go back to the bit about the next of kin or persons and phonecall for clarity. I was told you can have one or the other. They told me I could read it in a minute. I said no, because that’s not what happened last time. I didn’t get my sheets.

The woman Garda got agitated and told me “He’s just read it to you” – and I said “No he has read it too fast for me to focus on” to which she replied “I can read it to you.” I don’t know why they were in such a hurry. I said no, I want it clarified and explained.

I was then told I was being “Arrested For Charge.” I replied “But I said I would present to the station, what the fuck is wrong with you?” There was a lot of coming and going and snapping of rubber gloves around me, and whenever I saw A168 Brian Peter Gillan I reminded him that he had tortured. I asked them when do I find out what they had planted in my apartment. 

I believe I said “Charges for what?” “Oh we’ll let you know in a minute.” “What so you can finish making them up?” I replied.

I was then told “We’re going to search you now.” I replied “you’ve already fucking searched me.” I was told “This is for your safety and our safety.” I told them “You searched me in the apartment.” They took me to a cell, and left the door open so anyone standing in the hallway could see, and strip searched me. I kept telling them that they had already searched me.

I was then escorted back to the charges window. I was told that the charges were coming down. I was asked who my solicitor was, I told them XXX XXX, they seemed to find this vaguely amusing and almost immediately told me they could not get him on the phone. I was informed again. 

At this point I still had not been told why I was arrested, what I was being arrested for, and not been shown a warrant for the apartment. I asked about alerting or calling a person, I was told if I did not have the number for the person, I don’t get to contact someone.”

At this point there were two women Gardai on my right, and one of them, who seemed to be enjoying herself began hassling me about my tattoos and commenting “You sure do have a lot of tattoos.” I replied “I don’t.” This debate as to whether I had a lot of tattoos continued for a bit. I was asked if all my legs were tattooed, I replied. 

I asked if they would go to my apartment and get my phone I could contact next of kin. I was told no. I requested again they call XXX. I was told they could not get him. I don’t think they tried, as the reply that they could not get through to XXX was given to me.

My dead name was used again, and I again repeatedly asked to be addressed by my legal name.

I get the impression that from the amount of Garda around me, and the Gardai snapping their gloves around me, and such, that they were trying their best to intimidate me.

One of the women Garda asked me “And What does the E.F. stand for.” I told them what it stands for. The woman Garda seemed to find this quite entertaining and quite joyful.

They then took note of my tattoos.

I kept asking why was I in Kevin Street. I was told there may be an identity parade, but “not in your case.” I continued asking why was I here.

I was then made to go through my physical ailments and psychological ailments. I then went through my physical ailments and psychological ailments. 

I told them I had COPD and handcuff neuropathy, he began to ask me about that and then stopped. I was asked if I suffered from depression. I said yes. I was asked if I had self-harmed recently. I said no. I was asked do I suffer from psychiatric ailments. I said yes. I began to list my diagnoses and their co-morbidities.

At one point he paused and looked over my shoulder at someone as if to say “What?”

I went through my ADHD, PTSD, and their co-morbities, and my narcolepsy. I then went through the medicine I was prescribed. This was an interesting experience as this was not done the last time I was arrested and held in Kevin Street Garda station. I was asked did I consider myself a vulnerable person, I said well yes, the PTSD.

A168 Brian Peter Gillan’s Sergeant eventually came with the charges. He seemed to have a lot of hair product, and was on the short and slightly rotund side of things.

They asked me did I want to sign for the charges. I refused. I refused to sign the docket saying I had been given the charges, but I signed the bail document as the bail document was not made out to the correct name. I signed it with the correct name.

I refused to sign the document because my PTSD was getting triggered by the situation.

I had the charges read out to me.

Re: “How do you answer the charges?”

Re: The Charges of pouring petrol. 

I said they were bullshit and lies, I asked them how they thought they were going to make this work, how are you going to get your stories straight with all the differing parts, what about the destroyed evidence. I said you know it’s bullshit, because I couldn’t be taken to James Hospital and sat in A&E if I had been covered in petrol, could I? You would have had to hose me down outside, but you didn’t. I said  “You destroyed evidence.” I was asked again how do I respond to the charges, I repeated “The charges are lies, the charges are lies. The charges are bullshit and lies.” I asked, where does this fit into you alleging I assaulted a Garda at the door, or where does it fit with you lying to a hospital?” I am unsure if he wrote it all down, he did repeat one of the sentences at me.

Re: The charge of threatening to murder A168 Brian Peter Gillan.

When I was asked how I answer the charge. I said “I refuse the charge.” I was told “You can’t refuse the charge.” I repeated, “I refuse the charge.” There seemed to be some harrumphing at my refusal at the charge and I was told more than once that I cannot refuse a charge. I kept refusing the charge, and I kept stating “I refuse the charge. I refuse the charge, I refute the charge, I refuse it, because it is a LIE”. I was then told I was being released.

I asked where the doctor was, I was told again I was being released.

I said “You did all this, just to release me?”

“You’re released on bail.”

I began to again demand the doctor, I was told I would have to wait outside the building for the Doctor. I said I would wait in one of the interview rooms, I was told I couldn’t, this descended into an argument with the Gardai whereby I demanded the doctor, they kept telling me I was released and that I could not stay and I said I would stay and they kept telling me “You can’t stay, you have to wait outside.” 

I asked about my lawyer, they told me again they couldn’t get him.

They then told me I could wait upstairs for the doctor.

I asked how I was going to get home, they asked me where I lived, I replied, they laughed and told me “well fuckin’ walk.” I continued to argue over my arrest rights, and they, the Gardai continued to repeat “But we’re letting you go.” As we argued, I was bustle-walked out of the station to the waiting area, and laughingly told I could wait for the doctor in the lobby, “but he may be a very long time.” I told them I wanted my next of kin, I wanted my solicitor and I wanted the doctor. I was repeatedly told “but we’re letting you go.”

As they walked-bustled me out, they were chuckling-laughing telling I may be waiting sometime. I swore at them, saying “I can wait here can I? Might be some time.” They found this amusing and started laughing at me. I told them to cancel the doctor. As they were laughing at me, I called them cunts and walked out of the station, kicking the door in my frustration repeating the expletive. I am not proud of this, but I was struggling with my ADHD and PTSD, and by jeering me with laughter they had finally crossed a line I could not be triggered by.

I walked back to my apartment building. I had no keys and no way to get in. I was lucky that another person was collecting a delivery, and I had to hassle them to let me in. I then had to ask them to take me to the floor so I could gain access to the hallway of my apartment. If they had not been getting a delivery I would have been stuck outside of my home in the rain in house clothes. 

I came upstairs to find my destroyed door. I went inside, took my boots off, rolled a cigarette and phoned my next of kin XXX XXX. I then knocked on the door to my neighbour Captain XXX XXXX. He told me he had stayed in his doorway to witness the raid for me, and that it was out of all proportion and uncalled for and over the top, and he began stressing to me how the ERU trained and that they trained with the Army Rangers and that I did not realise how seriously they were trained. Captain XXX XXXX told me there was no need for what they did, and that it was just harassment. I reiterated my disability status. He said this is something you would expect for a hardened criminal who has weapons and has murdered people.  He was shocked and incredulous at what had happened to me.