Brandy (hybrid texts – excerpt) – Xi Nan
May 2, 2020
To Brandy and our unforgettable youthful days.
1.
One day my mother sent me
a photo with my
cousin and me in it
cousin looked very
young at the time we were
eating around a table cousin’s
head was down and I looked sideways
my eyes were very clean very
brave my nose and
chin were cute and looked a little
stubborn this reminded me of
another photo in which we were also
in a restaurant also
the same expression also
seventeen or eighteen years old Brandy
was also beside me at the time
in the first photo you can see
on the back of her head the short and
fluffy hair and the photographer of
the second photo is probably
Brandy
2.
This reminds me of a third
photo we two were standing at
the gate of the apartment we rented
the apartment had a foreign-flavored and
elegant name Brandy and
I were standing here
taking pictures I remember we were both wearing
a pair of loose jeans jumpsuit
raising arms to make a flying pose the happiness
couldn’t be hidden on the young faces Brandy’s
face was also showing a little
restraint I somehow could
see from the expression that she was
taking me as her best friend maybe
‘love’ is not too strong a word
3.
Before going to bed the night before yesterday Fish screamed
after receiving the water and electricity bills of
last month it was more than 500RMB I
was also surprised for a long time the apartment administrator later
said that heating in winter was very expensive so
it’s raining today and the air is chilling but I
dared not turn on the heater again
standing in front of the long window seeing
the wet streets the cloudy sky and the
drizzle there was a moment I
thought of Brandy in Colorado USA but
my imagination was very lacking of
details I couldn’t even imagine exactly the weather
there the closest thing to Brandy I know recently
is probably the latest news about the coronavirus
situation in the US I saw on Twitter a
global pandemic plague is spreading
4.
Brandy is a Chinese girl she
gave herself
an English name:
Brandy
seemed like because she loved
drinking brandy cocktails at the time
we of course had drunk it together in
Singapore’s very noisy open-air
bar that was an inverted triangular
glass with a dark-red cherry
put on the edge
9.
Brandy and I both loved the iced vanilla latte with cream from Starbucks
We both loved to eat Singaporean frog porridge spicy taste and the creamy corn kernels from a shopping mall and Hainan chicken rice and Pan Mee noodles (板面) from the night market
The internet says that it is called Anhui Pan Mee (安徽板面) but I remember it was called Fujian Pan Mee (福建板面) there were a lot of Fujianese in Singapore
Once a big boy who looked a bit silly invited us to a KTV soon the party was over Brandy laughed mercilessly at his pair of canvas shoes the boy disappeared from our lives ever since
Brandy had secret pride she liked high-end fashion brands and a stylish life I have no objection to that
We pretended to be rich girls walked into the top fashion stores hid in the fitting room and changed clothes took lots of photos of each other then casually threw an excuse to the salesperson put on a calm look and left
Global movies were released ten thousand times faster in Singapore than in China we always rushed to the cinema
Brandy had a sub-card of her mother’s Visa card much richer than me in my penniless days she was very generous and tolerant to me
Singapore is an equatorial country should be very very hot sometimes heavy rain falls but at this time I think of the mild sunshine an atmosphere close to life the color was a bit golden and we
Sat on the stone steps outside the shopping mall slowly eating the creamy corn kernels occasionally in a low voice sneered at the weirdoes passing by
Brandy shouted at me straightforwardly every day: Girl I really wanna handsome boyfriend!
11.
When I became Brandy’s roommate for the second time
there was also a Shanghainese girl in Singapore an inch of land
values an inch of gold we three squeezed in a rectangular
room with three standard double mattresses placed
closely next to each other almost no extra space we were nineteen
turned on the air conditioner 24/7 because of the heat it
finally began to leak we then put a bucket under it 24/7
to receive water the bucket was just next to my mattress turning over
my body in sleep was pretty challenging the Shanghainese girl
was having an American-Chinese boyfriend she spent the days
and nights inverted to cope with the Eastern American time
so as to accompany her boy in an online-game sometimes in the middle
of the night I woke up holding a long bolster and saw
Brandy sitting cross-legged on her mattress next to me
wearing headphones sillily laughing in whispers while watching
an American comedy on her laptop
12.
Brandy handed me the very first cigarette in my life
a kind of cigarette called
Texas 5
printed on the cigarette case it was a photo of a woman
opening her mouth and showing her teeth the gum was already
necrotic and blackened under the picture it warned that
smoking causes mouth diseases and then the hotline number
for quitting xxxx-xxxx we were standing at the door of a
7-11 convenience store Brandy took a cigarette out
from the case handed it to me lit it up I took a slow and
deep draw a few seconds later exhaled the very minty
smoke through my nose it instantly diffused in my mouth nose
throat and even the chest cavity this was the very first
cigarette in my life and I did not cough next to me Brandy
cheered happily wow-la so you can smoke! wow-la okay
then it turned out that I can smoke
13.
Later I heard that most domestic (in China) cigarettes are flue-cured tobaccos, while most foreign cigarettes are blend tobaccos; not sure whether this statement is true.
I didn’t get a chance to verify whether Texas 5 was a blend. After leaving Singapore in the early autumn 2004, I have never seen this kind of cigarettes again. Over the following decade or so, I observed that my favorite cigarettes were indeed all blend tobaccos.
Smokers know that the very first pack of cigarettes you smoke can largely determine your taste for cigarettes for the rest of your life.
The strong minty flavor of Texas 5 had left me a deep impression, or to say, a deep gustatory impression. Just when I’m typing down this sentence, my mouth recalls that taste. But again, ever since a certain moment which I didn’t know, I never smoked minty cigarettes anymore. When I was living in London, I loved Camel Light the most; it tasted thick and aromatic. Now I smoke 8mg Zhongnanhai (中南海, a kind of cigarette made in Beijing) or white soft pack Marlboro.
16.
On the eve of I leaving Singapore and going further
studies in England Brandy handed me a long letter
in which she recalled the times we had spent together those
a bit crazy days she also made fun that the burgers in England
were very unpalatable and there would be no 7-11 convenience
store she wondered if I would become as introverted
and deep as the English She asked
me to remember our unforgettable youthful days that
we’d experienced together the letter was brilliantly
written I’m a little sad that Brandy later
gave up her journalism career
17.
Singapore is fast-paced some people say it
is 1.5 times the pace of life in China while
Britain is slow-paced I saw a declining empire an
old man in the twilight 6pm in Newcastle
all the shops within my eyesight were closed I walked
for fifteen minutes on the streets the blowing wind
hurt my cheeks I passed three crossroads only saw two
white people who closed their dust coats tightly on their
chests one of which was a young man and the other was
a big woman if the wind is too strong in a city would it
double the feeling of hardship of life their expressions
did look restrained and deep with a kind of perseverance like
they were fighting against the fate there was indeed
no 24/7 opened 7-11 convenience store here I could no
longer get up in the middle of the night and
run downstairs to buy a box of strawberry
ice cream
20.
The night of March 11, 2020 in the supermarket
there were very few people several shop assistants lazily
leaned against the wall or on the door wearing masks they
measured our body temperature they didn’t speak Mandarin but
a local dialect that was difficult to understand very
spicy and the word speed was fast when Fish was looking for
dumplings in front of the freezer I heard the song being
played from the speaker singing “I love him so deeply that’s
why I will let go even if broke my heart the rain keeps
falling the atmosphere is not so harmonious under the same
roof you gradually feel the heart is changing (Rain Keeps
Falling by Zhang Yu, 张宇《雨一直下》)” what an old song this
is I somehow remembered Pang Long’s Two Butterflies sings
“Honey you fly slowly be careful of the rose with thorns in the
front (庞龙《两只蝴蝶》)” in 2005 we walked in the streets and
alleys of Beijing the song was played everywhere it simply was
played everywhere an afternoon fifteen years later I stay
in a sparsely populated hotel beside a highway using my mobile
phone to play the song Two Butterflies dancing alone in my
room stand on my tiptoes raise hands turn in circles jump
lightly sudden high and sudden low like I’m flying what is memory
don’t be sentimental look at the endless green fields outside the
hotel window the low houses the birds chirping and flying high some
people are in a wedding some rushes to a funeral while some just
sit quietly in a room surrounded by four white walls
quietly sit
quietly sit
26.
Let me also talk about Beijing in 2005 it was a year that I could never forget in my heart
2005 was the second year I left Singapore and went to England it should be the first summer vacation when I was an undergraduate I went back to Beijing Brandy had already settled down there
Is the disco called Mix in the Workers’ Stadium （工人体育馆） still there later I heard that Mix was still there but it was no longer what it used to be it was now packed with high-priced prostitutes and vulgar rich men was Mix really not what it used to be already later we never visited there again
In 2005 Brandy and I met two good friends in Mix till now our friendship has already survived for nearly fifteen years that was exactly Bobby and Shawn they are cousins Bobby’s girlfriend at the time was a tall girl called Queenie who seemed to be quite nimble soon they broke up Bobby later had some other girlfriends now his wife is a Japanese girl and they have two children
In Mix Brandy also met Little Zuo who was also studying abroad in England at the time they two fell in love and broke up at lightning speed of course we all knew that Little Zuo was an asshole years later Zuo got drunk at an open-air bar loudly shouted “beautiful” to every passer-by he even shouted that to every man or really old woman passed by this happened only less than a year after his new marriage
In 2005 Woman Street (女人街) was not yet removed we often went to a bar there called Fairy Bar （仙吧） in the middle of the night drank and played games until dawn time once Shawn said that he saw Faye Wong sitting at the bar it was THE Faye Wong (王菲) the Singing Queen we pulled the eaten chewing gum to cover the car license plate number racing all the way after drunk the music in the car and the loud laughing and chatting mixed together almost through the roof
In 2005 Bobby was very fat and Shawn was very thin but now I tell Bobby who has successfully lost huge weight for several years that he is a bit like Huang Bo (黄渤, a Chinese comedian) they looked at me who had gained huge weight after taking bipolar disorder medicines and sighed fat girl if we meet in Mix now I definitely don’t want to know you
That was already 2018 they two still took me the fat girl at the time to drinking parties together sometimes they at the same time played online games on their mobile phones then I silently went in a daze or browsed on my phone in order to participate the drinking parties at late night I even stayed for a few days in a small inn not far away from Shawn’s home
If we didn’t acquaint early when we were still so young of course everything will be different after entering the adult world the so-called friends I’ve made always brought short-lived friendship and everlasting interests
Later Bobby and Shawn who was also studying abroad in the United States returned to Beijing to settle down too I heard that Shawn was particularly miserable when he left the US because of a failed love relationship his visa expired when he was deported back to China he carried only a plastic bag in hand and the heroine in that relationship had become someone else’s wife a few years ago
Bobby and Shawn and Brandy had all returned to Beijing the many people coming and going around them were also in Beijing and I returned to England from Newcastle to Birmingham to London I settled down in England in the fierce wind
27.
2005 in Beijing, I had straight waist-length, red hair.
29.
What else can I record about Brandy.
Have I already recorded her full picture?
Have I accomplished the original intention of this group of hybrid texts, trying to record a period of cherished history in my heart…
Sometimes I feel everything is futile.
Memory deforms and many things must have been missed. History may have been blown away in the wind long ago.
Brandy is certainly not anything I’ve written above. I can’t trap her in a few paragraphs.
Brandy is just Brandy. Or not even Brandy.
Brandy is just an English name that a Chinese girl gave herself in the year 2003.
About Brandy, what else can I say.
30.
It was probably a summer vacation around 2005 I was staying
in Brandy’s home in Beijing Brandy and I lived in her room and
her father lived in the other room her father almost
gave full freedom did not ask much about our life it was
a very old tube-shaped building an auntie sat in the elevator full
time every day to ask us which floor we lived on and then
pressed the elevator button the elevator stopped working at twelve
o’clock midnight during that period of time Brandy and I who had
been drinking late at night climbed the stairs ourselves
numerous times and her home was located on the tenth floor every
time before climbing the stairs standing at the building gate we
had to spend much time to encourage each other for a few days a high
school best girl friend of Brandy’s came we went to watch the small
live concert of the Canadian rock band Simple Plan we three
squeezed on Brandy’s double bed cosmetics mixed together we just
reached for whatever was convenient but I didn’t like that
girl like I didn’t like Sister Rabbit later the reason was very
simple probably because I liked Brandy very much once the high
school girl friend used my powder puff to refine her make-up after
heavy sweating made the puff smelly the next day I threw the puff
away another thing was that once Brandy’s father told on me that I
was in some trouble my mother suddenly flew to Beijing without any
warning to bring me back home so I ran and hid all over the Beijing
city in my memory my footsteps were rapid my eyes were clean and
brave really I wasn’t afraid at all how many years ago did that happen that
summer we successfully escaped standing and smoking on the
sun-burning balcony the laptop behind us was looping Simple
Plan’s song Perfect “hey dad look at me did I grow
up according to plan I just want to make you proud but we lost
it all I’m sorry I can’t be perfect I’m sorry I can’t be perfect…”
Full version of hybrid texts Brandy will be published and available soon.
Brandy（混合文本 – 节选）
作者：西楠
献给Brandy和我们雪飞雪落、深深浅浅的青春岁月。
1.
有一天母亲发来
一张照片上面有我的
表姐和我
表姐看上去还很
年轻我们围在一张
桌子旁吃饭表姐
低着头我侧着脸
我的眼睛很干净很
勇敢的样子鼻子和
下巴翘翘的看上去
倔强这使我想起了
另一张照片同样是
在一间餐馆里同样
这副表情同样
十七八岁的年龄Brandy
当时同样在我身旁
第一张照片里能看见
她短发蓬松的
后脑勺第二张照片的
拍摄者很可能就是
Brandy
2.
这又使我想起了第三
张照片是我们二人站在
当时租住的公寓楼下
公寓有一个洋气又
雅致的名字我和
Brandy就站在这里
拍照记得我们都穿
- 一.宽松的背带牛仔
裤抬高手臂做出一种
飞翔的姿势年轻的脸上
掩饰不住快乐Brandy
的脸上还有一点点
内敛不知怎么我能
从那种表情中看出她
那时对我的感情也许说
爱也不过分
3.
前天晚上睡觉之前鱼儿
收到上个月水电账单惊叫
起来竟有五百多元我
也惊叹了半天公寓管理员后来
说冬天暖气很费电所以
今天下雨了空气冷
飕飕的但我不敢再开暖气
站在长长的窗户前看见
湿的街道阴的天空绵绵
细雨有一个瞬间我
想到了正在科罗拉多州
的Brandy但我的想象非常
缺乏细节我甚至难以
确切地想象那里的天气
近来我所知道的离Brandy
最近的事情大概是推特
上不断推送给我的美国
新冠病毒最新情况一场
全球流行性瘟疫正在蔓延
4.
Brandy是一个中国女孩她
给自己取
了一个英文名字叫做
Brandy
好像因为那时她很喜欢
喝白兰地鸡尾酒
我们当然一起喝过在
新加坡人声鼎沸的露天
酒吧那是一只倒三角
形的杯子杯沿上插一枚
暗红色樱桃
9.
我和Brandy都喜欢喝星巴克的香草味冰拿铁加奶油
我们都喜欢吃新加坡的田鸡粥最好加辣还有一家商场里的奶油玉米粒和夜市里的海南鸡饭和板面
上网搜索说那叫做安徽板面但我记得它叫福建板面新加坡的福建人很多
有一次一个看上去有点傻愣愣的大个子男孩请我们去KTV很快聚会就结束了Brandy毫不留情嘲笑了那男孩穿的一双帆布鞋男孩从此消失在我们的生活中
Brandy有隐秘的骄傲她喜欢高级时尚品牌和有格调的生活对此我并无非议
我们装模作样走进顶级时装店躲在试衣间里换衣服互相拍很多照片又随口打发店员做出镇定的模样离开
新加坡的全球电影上映速度比中国快一万倍我们总是跑去电影院
Brandy有一张她妈妈的Visa卡副卡比我有钱多了在我穷困潦倒的日子里对我很大方包容
新加坡是赤道国家应该是非常非常炎热有时大雨滂沱的但此时我想起了温和的太阳一种贴近生活的气息颜色有点金黄而我们
坐在商场外的石阶上一口一口吃掉奶油玉米粒偶尔小声讥笑路过的怪人
Brandy每天都要直通通地冲我喊女人我好想艳遇啊
11.
第二次和Brandy合租时
还有一个上海女孩新加坡
永远寸土寸金三个人挤在
一间长方形房间三张双人
床垫紧挨着几乎再没多余
空间我们十九岁在炎热中
二十四小时开着空调它终
于漏水了我们又二十四小
时放一只水桶在空调下接
水水桶紧挨我的床垫睡觉
翻身十分考验技巧上海女
孩交着一个美籍华人男朋
友每天昼夜颠倒过着美国
东部时间陪他联机打游戏
有时半夜我抱着条状抱枕
醒来看见Brandy在紧挨
我的床垫上戴耳机盘着腿
吃吃笑着看美剧
12.
Brandy递给了我人生中的第一
根烟是一种叫做德克萨斯5的
烟就是Texas 5烟盒上印着一
个女人龇牙的嘴牙齿牙龈都坏
死发黑了图片下警告人们吸烟
会引发口腔疾病然后是戒烟求
助电话xxxx-xxxx我们站在7-11
便利店门口Brandy从烟盒抽出
一支递给我点燃我深吸一口又
从鼻子里喷出一股非常薄荷的
味道瞬间弥散在我的口鼻喉咙
甚至胸腔这是我人生中的第一
口香烟而我并没有咳嗽旁边的
Brandy面露欣喜说哇塞原来你
会抽烟呀哇塞好吧原来我会抽
烟呀
13.
后来听说，国内香烟大多是烤烟型，国外香烟大多是混合型。不确定这样的说法是否准确。
没有机会考证Texas 5究竟是不是混合型，2004年初秋离开新加坡以后，我再没见过这种烟。此后十几年，我观察到我喜欢的香烟的确都是混合型。
烟民知道，你抽过的第一包烟将决定此后一生对香烟的口味喜好。
Texas 5的极强薄荷味道给我留下深刻印象，或者说深刻的味觉印象，就在我打下这一行字时，我的口腔又回忆起了那种味道。但同样，在不知什么时间我再也不抽薄荷味香烟。在伦敦生活时，我最喜欢“骆驼”，浓且香，现在则抽8毫克的中南海，或白色软包万宝路。
16.
离开新加坡去往英国上学
的前夜Brandy递给我一
封长信里面回忆了这一段
我们共度的不可不说有点
儿疯狂的日子还取笑说英
国的汉堡很难吃也没有7-11
便利店哦她问我会不会变
得和英国人一样内敛幽深
她请我记得我们雪飞雪落
深深浅浅的青春岁月那封
信写得文采飞扬我有些难
过Brandy后来放弃了以
文字为生的工作
17.
新加坡是快节奏的有人说它
是大陆生活节奏的1.5倍而
英国是缓慢节奏的我看见一
个衰落的昔日帝国一个垂暮
的老人傍晚六点钟纽卡斯尔
目所能及的店铺全都关门歇
业了我在狂风吹疼面颊的蜿
蜒街道持续行走了十五分钟
经过了三个十字路口只遇见
两个将风衣在胸口扯紧的白
人一个年轻男子一个胖女人
一座城市里的风太大是不是
会倍增人生艰辛之感他们的
表情看上去真的内敛而幽深
有种和命运做斗争般的坚毅
这里真的没有24小时的7-11
便利店我不能再半夜爬起跑
到楼下买一盒带草莓肉的桶
装雪糕
20.
2020年3月11日夜晚的超市
人迹寥寥几个店员懒洋洋靠在
墙边或者门上戴着口罩测量我
们的体温她们不说普通话说一
种很难听懂的当地方言泼辣且
语速很快鱼儿在冰柜前找饺子
时我听见广播里正在放的歌唱
着就是爱到深处才由他碎了心
也要放得下雨一直下气氛不算
融洽在同个屋檐下你渐渐感到
心在变化这是多么老的一首歌
了我不知怎么又想起庞龙唱的
两只蝴蝶亲爱的你慢慢飞小心
前面带刺的玫瑰2005年我们
走在北京的大街小巷到处都在
播放这首歌简直到处都在播放
这首歌十五年后的一个下午我
在一家高速公路旁人迹罕至的
宾馆房间里用手机播放这首歌
独自起舞踮脚扬手转圈轻盈跳
跃忽高忽低像在飞翔记忆是一
种什么东西你不要感伤你看宾
馆窗外一望无际的绿野低矮的
楼房鸟儿鸣叫着飞向高处有人
结婚有人奔丧而有的人只是在
四面白墙的房间中安静地坐着
安静坐着
安静坐着
26.
那么再记录一下2005年的北京那是我心中无论如何忘不了的一年
2005年是我离开新加坡去到英国的第二年应该是在读本科时的第一个暑假我回到北京Brandy已在北京安家落户
工体那间叫做Mix的迪厅还在不在后来一次我听说Mix还在但早已不是当年的样子如今里面是各种非主流高价小姐土大款Mix真的不再是当年的样子吗后来我们再也没有去过
2005年Brandy和我在Mix里认识了后来一交十几年的朋友（至今已近15年）正是Bobby和Shawn他们是两兄弟当时Bobby的女朋友是一个叫做Queenie的看上去做派利落的高个子女生很快他们分手了Bobby后来又交过一些女朋友现在的妻子是一个日本姑娘他们生下两个孩子
Brandy在Mix还认识了当时也在英国留学回来放假的小左两人闪电式恋爱又分手当然我们都知道小左是混蛋多年后他醉倒在一间露天酒吧朝每一个过路人大喊美女对着男人或者老婆婆他仍然大喊美女那时他才新婚不到一年
2005年的女人街还没被拆除我们常常半夜去到一间叫做仙吧的酒吧喝酒玩游戏直到天亮有一次Shawn说看见王菲坐在吧台旁就是那个歌后王菲我们拉扯嚼过的口香糖盖住车牌号酒后一路狂飙车里的音乐和高声谈笑混杂成一团快掀翻车顶
2005年的Bobby很胖Shawn很瘦而现在我告诉已经减肥成功数年的Bobby他有点儿像黄渤他俩看着服食躁郁症药物后体重激增的我感叹胖妞儿要是现在在Mix遇见我肯定不想认识你
那已经是2018年他俩还是带着当时非常胖的我一起喝酒有时他们一边用手机联机打游戏我就沉默着发呆或刷手机为了方便深夜参加酒局我还在Shawn家不远处一个小旅馆住过几天
如果不是相识很早我们还小一切当然会是不一样的走进成人世界以后我所交往的所谓朋友总是重演着短命的友谊和恒久的利益
后来同在美国留学的Bobby和Shawn也回到北京安家落户听说Shawn离开美国时格外凄惨因为一段恋情失败导致签证过期被遣送回国时手里只拎一只塑料袋而恋情中的女主角几年前已嫁为人妻
Bobby和Shawn和Brandy都回到了北京他们身边来来去去的一大群人也都在北京而我回到了英国从纽卡斯尔到伯明翰到伦敦我在狂风不止的英国安家落户
27.
2005年在北京，我有一头正红色的，齐腰的长直头发。
29.
关于Brandy我还能记录下一些什么。
我是否已经记录下她的全貌？
我是否已经完成这一组作品的初衷，企图记录下心中一段珍视的历史……
有时我觉得一切是徒劳的。
记忆会变形，会遗漏，历史也许早已吹散在风中。
Brandy当然不是我上述所写下的任何样子。我无法以区区数段文字将她困于其中。
Brandy只是Brandy。或者连Brandy也不是。
Brandy只是一个中国女孩在2003年取给自己的一个英文名字。
关于Brandy，我还能说些什么。
30.
大概是2005年前后的某年暑假我住在
Brandy北京的家Brandy和我同住一
间她爸爸住在另一间几乎给予充分自由
不大过问我们的生活那是一栋老式筒子
楼电梯里每天坐一个大妈专职询问我们
住几楼然后帮我们按电梯每到夜晚12
点电梯会停运那段时间喝酒夜归的Brandy
和我在深夜爬过无数次楼梯而她家住在
十楼每次爬楼之前站在楼下我们都要花
半天时间鼓足勇气有几天她一个高中闺
蜜来了我们一起去看了Simple Plan的
现场演唱会三个人挤在Brandy的双人床
上化妆品混成一堆互相使用但我不喜欢
那个女孩就像后来我也不喜欢兔姐原因
很简单大概就是我很喜欢Brandy吧一次
那个高中闺蜜大汗淋漓后使用我的粉扑
补妆弄得粉扑臭烘烘的第二天我把粉扑
扔了另一件事是Brandy的爸爸向我妈告
密说我遇上点儿麻烦于是我妈毫无预兆
地飞来北京逮我我就满北京城跑啊躲啊
记忆中那时我脚步飞快眼睛又干净又勇
敢真的那时候我一点儿也不害怕那是多
少年前的事情了那个夏天逃跑成功的我
们站在太阳炙烈的阳台上抽烟身后的电
脑循环播放着Simple Plan的Perfect嘿
爸爸看看我我按照你的意愿长大了吗我
只想让你为我骄傲但我们都失败了很抱
歉我不完美很抱歉我不完美
混合文本Brandy的完整版即将出版并可购买（双语/美国）。