Dear….Dear-est Linda, – Kellan Jansen

May 5, 2026

Times fall harder on some cities and strangely across our country’s schools. But if you imagined a big funnel. Collecting the lost kids. And named those the times? You would arrive at Milton P. Bradley.

HA! Will share.

Uh…

“The point of no return.” Kenny down the street said that, and I think it’s accurate, much as I hate to say. The kids there are no good. I’m sorry. But if my daughters went there? Well,

It’s worth starting here because that’s what I’m thinking said the book.
But I guess it’s a little beside the point.

The only thing I’ll say is their principal, “Señor Smelly” (Kenny, not me), does live up to his name. You can always see more than you want. And if my daughters had to go to him? I don’t think I could do it. Walking into that office all on your own? No nose plug?

HA. Will tell the guys.

But this is for my wife. Something about a journal being good writer’s block. They said on that Artist’s Way? (Donny’s wife’s not mine) that basically you just keep writing until you find the words coming out.

“It’s the love note anniversary,” she said.
How do I show mocking?
“It’s the loooove note anniversary.”

Donny’s always talking about that author wife of his and her woo woo.
But I guess she would know….
Let’s see…

Finest in the land. No.
A love like no other. No.
She’d be like, which others, haha.
The guys know I’m funniest. Uh.
Maybe I should start with her name.

Dear….Dear-est Linda,

I’m so glad our kids don’t go to Milton P. Bradley. No.
Aren’t I the best provider? Too soft.

Dearest Linda,
Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are.

Yes.

You are my summer’s rose.

Hell yes.

So in conclusion….

Maybe a little more.
Let me think let me think let me think let me think.

The one thing I’ll say about the school is the teachers there smoke pot in the bathroom during lunch. They don’t even care. Can’t believe Dad sent us there. It’s as if,

Thinking about thinking think think think.

Linda,

I think about you a lot.

Jesus. Can’t thinkkkkk.

I think I think I think I think
Dad did his best. But life would have been much easier, I mean …. How do I whistle?
Point being, he set us up to fail, and the guys know I’m not a failure.
Linda and the girls know that.
Toooo.

Wow….

It’s as if a weight off the shoulder. Really impressive.

Woooooooo….

But one thing I should say is that don’t hold against dad for anything. I probably could’ve done more is the only thing, if he sent to private school like son, me. Not a big deal, that being said.

May try again.

Oh.

Dearest Linda,

Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are.
You are my summer’s rose.
I am so lucky to have you by my side.

Love,
Ron

PS I hope this was enough