Decay – Connor Orrico
July 5, 2020
thinking through the lethargic miasma of self transmuting
myspaceeyesspaceseecommareturn
myspaceeyesspacebleedcommaretu
ispaceneedspacespacereturn
fromspacemyselfreturn
return
return
return
myspaceeyesspaceparenthesishyp
myspaceeyesspaceparenthesishyp
thesespacewordsreturn
thesespacebreathsreturn
fromspacewhoeverspaceisspaceth
eflsspaceefslspaceelfsspaceels
felsspacefeslspaceflesspacefls
lefsspacelesfspacelfesspacelfs
seflspaceselfspacesfelspacesfl
a recurrence
I did live
doom as
mood evil
did I?
now rats as
a star won
… I guess I should
take what I can get.
#
anamorphic beyond clarity,
dissonance endlessly fractures.
ghosts hide inside
“just keep living,”
my nightly offering.
peace quivers returning
strength to understand
venom within [my] xiphoid:
yearning zephyrs.
trapped
psychotherapy chides me,
self-help lit derides me,
my body hates me,
advice berates me,
exercise reviles me,
alcohol beguiles me,
medication ignores me;
my tired soul implores me.
anonymity
“please fucking
kill me now” –
my pen name,
md candidate ’22,
psychiatry