Derrida Blog 6/19 – Jesse Prado

This book is like the complete opposite of something that makes me wanna write
Like it makes me not wanna write at all
Bc then all I have to write about is what I’m thinking
I’m trying to remember what I had in mind otw back from the laundromat where I first realized this
I think a few ground rules
Like to remind me of what I can
And can’t do
If I wanted to do what I can do I would be going over every literary critic he names
Marcel Raymond
Lee Spitzer
Like you would get to know literary theory from the POV of these critics
You would get to know every last one of theirs
Bc that’s what this is all about
This is literary theory
And he was w
And against each
And every one of these guys for very different reasons
So just get over that you’re not gonna be too familiar w any of these guys
Like you’ll be more so by the time you’re done
But you’re not gonna be fluent at all by any means
Maybe some
But more so than you were before you started reading
I wanna say that’s the crux of these readings
The reading of this type of material
You have to get over the things you’re not gonna get
And that’s hard when you can’t decipher what it is exactly you don’t get
Like walking away from the last two
To three paragraphs I thought it’s hard to form the questions I have
I would say that’s deconstructed
That’s like the challenge of writing
And philosophy
And maybe Derrida would agree
If not him maybe someone else
But it’s hard to say what my questions are based on this first reading
I feel like he’s contradicting himself
Like Rousset is according to Derrida
And Derrida is in turn contradicting himself for that reason
And Rousset I think is afraid of Poulet
Like he’s afraid to make statements irt his philosophy for fear of running into trouble
Which seemed like it would more specifically come from him
And he’s afraid to be deemed a conventional Platonist
Or being an advocate for conventional Platonism
Which is when you believe everything is objective from its origins
Like all objects are independent of their origins
Like once I make it it’s not mine anymore sort of thing
And I think that’s what he’s saying about writing
Or what he’s trying to say about writing
But without saying it
Bc if he did then he would be accused of conventional Platonism
But here is where I need to back up
Bc i don’t think I know what I’m talking about
And I think to anyone that does
Whether it be about this
Or anything else would think this reads like that
So I’m gonna move on
And idk what to
But I think I just need to get my head around these things
Like my questions
And my ideas
And thoughts
And that’s not what I mean to say
That’s just me writing
But like I need to accept the limitations that are gonna be placed on me due to this reading
And remember the rules you made for yourself when it came to it
And go by those I guess
Like a close reading is gonna take time
So it’s not about page count anymore
You’re not going for thirty pgs per reading
You can do that w anything else
But this
This is the one thing you can’t do that w
Three paragraphs is the new thirty when it comes to shit like this
And you’re gonna have to do a lot throughout every day
I would say two
To three
You’re gonna get addicted to reading little bits of this book at a time
You’re gonna be sneaking off to do just that
Sometimes it will be bad
Like a bad reading
Try to move on from those
Unless it keeps happening try to continue from where you left off
Don’t get too hung up
Or caught up in trying to have a thorough understanding of the work
Don’t worry about that
That isn’t the objective
The objective is to just read it
To get through it
Just focus on doing that
And that alone
Don’t worry about anything else
What’s gonna be hard I think is throwing things in between readings of it
Like comedy
And comedy writing especially
But it shouldn’t be too bad
What this is gonna supplement
And take up a lot of space from is reading
You’re not gonna read as much satire
Or sci-fi
Or poetry
If you read anything besides this it’s gonna be poetry
But don’t rule anything out
But also rule everything out
Bc I’m probably gonna read whatever I can about this dude
And whoever he mentions in my spare time
And comedy writing
I mean we’ll see
I say you can write out what’s funny about what you’re reading
And doing here
Like I was gonna say earlier btw I’m thinking you can easily write something about someone trying to read some shit
That’s what my journal’s gonna be from here on out
And I think the way it starts out is gonna be like how do I put this
Very much so married to the work
Like you’re gonna write a lot about what you’re reading
And what’s happening in your life separately
And the ratio is gonna be largely disproportionate in favor of the former I think until it gets good
Only then will you see a shift
Then I think by the end there should be an incredibly set well balance between the two
And if this theory is working on me at all its themes will be heavily incorporated into those musings as I believe they already are now
That’s why I’m reading it
I think that was one of the last questions I was asking myself as I was pulling up
Almost as like the answer to the problem I posed before of my not being into literary theory enough
Or not being familiar enough w that school of thought to understand this
And the fact is you won’t be
So let go of that inkling
Or notion
Or aspiration
We already went over this
I’m reading this as sort of just a reinforcement of my ideas of writing
And reading
And the difference
And relationship I guess between speech
And writing in that difference
That difference being the most paramount
Like I’m hella fuzzy on it
But if I remember correctly I think Barthes
And Derrida held the same views on the relationship between writing
And speech
This is hard to get into
Bc of how fuzzy I am
But I remember Barthes saying something about every utterance being important to writing
Like the experience of writing being just as important as the writing itself
I think this is where they agreed
I’m not sure
I should google that
Where Barthes
And Derrida agreed
I think Derrida just didn’t believe in the linguistic model that Barthes adhered to
Like he didn’t think words mean anything
I laugh every time I hear something like that
Like w that in mind you can say something like meaning betrays itself
And a room full of guys like this would be like ahhh yes
They would be f stoked
Like I’m sure one of them had said this before
And it wouldn’t matter
Like it wouldn’t be plagiarizing them
They wouldn’t see it that way
Bc it’s all the same to them
All writing
That’s what I find most
Idk about that
I think that might be the mission of this
Like the goal
To figure out why I like this shit
I hope it refreshes me on everything I like about philosophy
And literary theory
What I liked about Barthes
And Baudrillard
I would say those are my top three
Like I have just as much work by Benjamin
He’s who I got into first
But I feel like his approach to philosophy was more matter of fact
Like his observations were just like that
Just like musings
It wasn’t critical enough for me
I would say he’s hella funny though
I’m talking like I want this to be something
And I do
But I don’t wanna say what
Bc I feel like that ruins it
And like I already have in so many ways
Like this is a lot of things
I’m doing a lot here
I’m trying to kill as many birds as I possibly can w as many stones as I can possibly find
That’s all I wanna do here
I wanna marry philosophy
And idk what else is going on here
What other thing this satisfies
I do this very rarely
And I’m in the habit of just reading a variety of things
I’ve already gone over this
I think
I wonder how long this is
I haven’t been checking every post lately for word counts
This feels like a lot
This feels like the best too
It’s funny what it took to arrive at
Like a solemn acceptance
Like I went from not wanting to read it
To I guess being afraid to read it
To being determined all within the span of one week
And I gotta say I didn’t
I didn’t anticipate this outcome
But it feels the best
It’s really taking it on
Like I’m declaring it
You have to
It’s the only way for me I guess at this point