Euphemisms from the Output Tray – Sarp Sozdinler

January 6, 2026

They told me the machine was self-correcting.

If something went wrong, it would adjust.
If something went *really* wrong, it would turn itself off.

I’ve been waiting for it to turn off for three weeks.

The lights above it flicker sometimes, but only when I’m not looking. They get shy every time they are observed. The others say they don’t see it, either. They clock in, they clock out, they wipe down the control panels. The manual says never to touch the inner core, but someone must do it. I can smell the melted wires in it, the overripe coins.

Yesterday, the output tray gave me a sheet that said HELLO in perfect black ink. Then one that said SORRY. Then one that said nothing at all, displaying just a faint gray thumbprint.

I fed the coin back in. Now every new page has the same thing printed in the bottom corner: Keep going.

Keep going keep going keep going.

I asked the supervisor about it. He told me not to worry, that the machine sometimes develops “a personality” when others are not looking.

Today I brought my lunch early, sat beside the computer, and listened. I hoped today was the day it learned my name.