Exciting Things I Said to my Mom Yesterday (Spoiler Alert: US) – Jesse Prado

Omw to the park I thought getting there’s not gonna be the problem
But the getting back
And that was actually hella hard
On your way there it’s the onslaught of anxiety over whether
Or not you have to pee
But I was fine
So then it was the pain in my tendons on either sides of my knee otw back
It happened whenever I tried to rush
I had to slow down a lot
And trick myself into thinking it’s all in my head until I got back
It was Easter Sunday too
So I ran through hella bbqs
And restaurants
Hella outdoor seating on the sidewalk
Then it got more frustrating as i neared the finish line
When I kept seeing streets like Lafayette
And Greene when i wanted to see Gates
At one point I had to exclaim an expletive aloud to myself
I got back in eighty min
That’s longer than most ppl workout usually
But then I looked it up
And they say that’s actually not all that long


It doesn’t even scare me anymore
Unless it really surprises me
If I see it within my peripherals I just get hella mad now
Like when I saw one I think Robert killed earlier it sucked
Bc I was waiting for food
So I was wondering if maybe I could eat before I do something about that when I thought better of it
Like naw
You’re not gonna wanna eat w that there
So I went to my room to grab the piece of my closet that broke off
And stabbed it w perfect aim in a sort of javelin esque fashion when it fell outta sight
I killed both of them that way
I’m not sure if the second one I saw in the hallway was the same one
Bc it was a lot bigger
I remember when I rolled up a catalog thinking this isn’t big enough
So I grabbed a swiffer from in between the fridge
And counter space
And you know that movie us
By jordan peele
The one where the family on vacation comes across another family that looks just like them
They’re their doppelgängers
Well you know the end when lupita stabs her double
And she lets out a sort of guttural scream
It’s almost like primal
That’s how I was when I pinned that roach up against the wall
First shot
And I just stood there
Looking around for something to kill it w after I let it fall
Bc there was no way I could be actually sure I killed it when I couldn’t find anything
So I just let it go
And stepped on it
Grabbed a ton of paper towels to pick it up w
And throw it away in one of the trash cans I saw out on the patio
It was hella intense
It sucks too
Bc like I don’t wanna kill anything
Like Robert
And I say sorry every time
I know they didn’t mean to be seen
Or discovered by me here
But those are the circumstances
So it’s just like fuck
It’s like finding a fucking person in your house
Like you can live
But you can’t live here
In my house rent free
It’s either them
Or you you know
Like if it was a mouse
That’s like one step closer to a human
And some ppl would kill a human too
I wouldn’t
But ppl have very divisive opinions on either case