Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.


Topics - Sprague Dawley

Pages: [1]
1
Lit / Expate Presse Fronte Page
« on: March 17, 2019, 01:28:37 AM »
The front page is going great guns but none of these literatii pricks ever make it back behind the curtains to muck in with us carny fuckers.

bugger me, could do with a diagramemd version of this one:

https://expatpress.com/how-to-fake-it-theresa-smith/
2
Non Lit / Sports
« on: September 10, 2018, 06:27:01 AM »
Tennis.

So golfing handicap IQ Serena Williams has divided the blogosphere with her divatic mentally-handicapped abusive tirade at some poor fuckwit umpire.

The sepposphere says "men get preferential treatment". The entire rest of the foriisphere say "she's a mental midget who packed a strop at the first sign of losing, just like the 2 other times when the chick at the other end of the court actually hit the fucker back to her more than 4 times in a fucken row."

She's no toastmaster in the interlocution stakes thats for sure.
"I've never cheated, I have a child and I stand for what's right!"
"Oh, sorry, excuse me, did you say you have a CHILD? Well, infraction retracted then, a child changes EVERYTHING! NEVER let it be thought that I, a match umpire would not think of the children. Let us resume the match then you stark-raving mad cheating sea-cow heifer in a tutu."


The victory ceremony, ffs, forgot how thick the seppos like to lay it on, an overwrought cockwrench of overly sentimental string-tugging self-serving saccharine bleating, saluting and doing my doodie and doing my jahhb and protecting my family from my doodie and it's my doodie to do my jahhb just doing my jahhb oh fuck off. Williams tearfully implores to the crowd that "we'll get through this" while the winner of the US Open, the hated foreign interloper, stands there right next her crying thru the boos waiting to collect her fucken silverware.

Really though, quick root around the seppo blog comments sections and bit surprised to see it's about 80% vilifying Williams/taking the piss out of her, esp. with the "daughter" thing and just a minority trumpeting the "oh this is sexist against wimmin players" crap. Kind of unbelievable the womens winner gets exactly the same as mens, 3.8 mill. Yet their final was over in 80 mins. Thats sometimes just the length of the 1st set of 5 for the men ffs.

The part I don't get is the slagging the ump is getting for being a "stickler for the rules". Well whoop-de-fucken-doo, THE RULES ARE HIS WHOLE FUCKEN JOB. Literally his entire job description is "The Fucken Rules". CNN raging about "sexist inequality of treatment from the ump." Way to miss the point, or in this case, shrieking spoilt shithead demanding the ref apologise for enforcing the fucken rules. No mention of how bizarre it is that barge-arse Serena feels entitled to rage at the poor ump for having the temerity to do his job. He got paid $600 for the final. Serena gets paid a million or so for stinking up the joint, screaming, and coming fucken last. Poor ref, sad bugger should file for workplace abuse.

this bit in the Guardian summed it up for me:
"Her comments on court, during the trophy ceremony and in her post-match interview demonstrated her uncanny habit of conflating the good with the bad, mixing everything up to excuse her poor behavior."

..."self-exoneration through obfuscation"


Yeah, of course Serena wouldve had a shit time growing up black around all them white country club tennis Malibu Stacey slags sniggering at her shit. Also doesnt help that in terms of x's and y's she looks about 48% BLOKE.

But still, just imagine if say, a Djokovic went up to an ump and yelled "I never cheat. I have a daughter. I do what's right." The gales of laughter would shame the nutter right off centre court. Instant viral meme status. Sponsors would be glancing at each other like "what the fuck is wrong with our guy? Has he been touched in the head or some shit? Get him off the fucken air. Our product is not in the market of being associated with entitled divatic lunatics suffering from some sort of disassociative reasoning fucken schizoid meltdown."

Yet in the sepposphere when a proud black woman says that loopy tripe to the ump she's standing up to her white male oppressors or some David Copperfield crap.
3
Lit / Word Of The Day
« on: September 03, 2018, 02:27:38 AM »
farrowing
 
(of a sow) give birth to (piglets).

"The lodger is farrowing."

AKA; "my wife is giving birth."
4
5
Non Lit / Televisio'nne
« on: August 22, 2018, 03:42:38 AM »
ep3 of "Who Is America" bit of a letdown after the piss-funny 1st 2 eps.

The pedo sex offender wand such a brilliant idea but the shitstain mark managed to extricate himself a wee bit too easily

that Israeli nutjob is just gold

almost feel bad for you seppo cunts, Cohen is still trolling your nation right up the khyber then halfway back out the shitter.

This scene from e4 (?) had me bolting over to my wee mspaint screenshot gizmo so fast I almost barked my shins on the bukkake queue



ep 6 I was lmaofaq almost the whole way thru. It's like the show has been specifially written for me. The dipshit in the scooter is unstoppable

ep 6 SPOILER pic, I had to screenshot that shit up I got so excited and randy

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/beans_zpseahbd53p.png

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v221/Bent/veal_zpsfrokgxe2.png
6
Non Lit / Last Music Acquisitions/Cost/Shit/Shinola
« on: August 14, 2018, 11:24:41 PM »
...starting from 2003. Just a brief 15-year anal cunt OCD catch up from me then

Agna Moraine`s autobiography 7" 100 yen. too raucous for me
Nick Cave - Nocturama cd. 200 yen. luxurious.
Isis - Oceanic lp 1500 yen. love beign bored shitless by these cunts
Bats - Fear of God lp. 200 yen! ffs score of the century
Secret chiefs 3 book M cd 500 yen. not much on the first one

Asschapel - total worship lp 200 yen. too potty
Skycamefalling - to forever embrace 10" 200 yen. too metalcorey
Congress --Angry with the sun lp 200 yen(tradebait)
Congress --Stake through the heart lp 200 yen(say-o-nara)
Disembodied -heretic lp 200 yen-Have it. Bought it again. dont mind these tuff guy drongos. Or at least didnt in 2003.
Ratos de porao carneceria tropical LP 200 yen. nah
Unsane - occupational hazard LP 200 yen. Have it. Bought it again. Like I'm gonna leave it there when its 2 fucken bucks

7
Non Lit / Reviews. Of Anything. Bit Like Forrest Macneil
« on: August 14, 2018, 10:56:43 PM »
Review of Korean Woman I Met In Library in 2004. A True Story. Typed Out In 2004.

Have run into her before in the library. I am married and do not fuck around with women but we have chatted. As I suspected, she's too effusive to be a local. After scoping me with numerous lancing and glancing looks, she had initially approached me. Nobody approaches me. Language leeches? Pfft. Some other fuckers problem.

She is Korean yet has been in Japan for 20 years. She's 38. Her daughter is 21 (ding ding, ages too clooose, alarm bells, potentially loose moral fibres in closet). She speaks Japanese and quite good English. In conversation, there was a certain chemistry. Then again, I will blithely interpret any signals mistakenly when they are being relayed by an eyelash-batting MILF sporting a leopard-print mini-skirt.

I remembered her telling me she was an English teacher.
So I venture "Hows the teaching job?"
"I was fired. I want to go to Gold Coast in 3 years".
"What job will you do til' then?"
"I have panic attacks. Japan Government gives me 300,000 yen (US$4,000) a month for panic attacks. And daughter 60,000 yen". Gulp. Then she takes out a clear plastic bag containing 5 or 6 small white pills...
"These are my pills. This one is for panic attack. This one is for blah blah. This one is drug".
Her eyes widen. "It is illegal in America".
All 5 pills look identical to me. I think of asking "during a panic attack, isn't there a certain likelihood you may grasp the wrong pill?" I refrain. She continues. "My daughters boyfriend is Australian but he is dropout, his salary only 50,000 yen a month. So they break up. We don't like poor man". Then she goes bulbously wide-eyed and makes knuckling motions indicating splittage. I try to imagine this gesture as being indicative of some sort of mother/daughter/Dawley-tryst-souffle-carnal-calisthenics scenario but I just can't do it... she is obviously batshit crazy.
 "I don't like Japanese man..." she goes on "My husband was bad man... I don't like American or British man... I like Australian and New Zealand man. They are gentleman" (ding fucking [hide the] dong).

"My husband dead 15 years ago. He was yakuza boss. Very rich".
So I ask, "You say he was a bad man, yet you had 2 children with him. Did you know he was in the yakuza?"
She does the bug-eyed schtick again and says "Nooo.. I did not know" (Ding dong? Nope. That's a fuckin' AIR RAID SIREN, GET IN THE FUCKIN' SHELTER, SHITHEAD).

Then she went on with another story about someone slitting her sisters throat in Osaka 10 years ago but I couldn't quite catch it as the air raid sirens were wailing imploringly at me by then to take fucken covvverrr.

Finally she sashayed off. Leopard-print buttocks wiggling in an exaggerated and bewitching manner. I go back to my book. A minute later, I hear footsteps. She has come back. Smiling, she hands me a piece of paper. It has her name, address and telephone number. She takes her leave. Her goddamn address? Crazy.

I HAVE A NEW FRIEND.

Crikey. In one foul swoop she had almost completely dissolved my "libraries are the place to meet the most palatable strain of female" notion.

Of course, this slip of paper is going straight in the fucken bin. Talk about the road to ruin. This is a fork in that very road. A very sharp fork paved with bad, bad intentions. Although who knows, perhaps in the cumming days, I can eke out some fertile "fantasy thrashes", conjuring up images of her, her daughter and I in the throes of ruttage.
8
Non Lit / Twitter
« on: May 22, 2018, 07:03:19 PM »
Two votes each in this high quality pole

slowly coming to grips with twitter. Can now see why everyone abandoned the foriisphere in its favour. Although for twitter megastars like, say, Manny, following 1500 people, I'm curious what that would look like in their twatfeed?
1500 people tweeting, wouldnt that be a new tweet every 3 damn seconds? Surely it can't all be interesting? Wouldnt it just be about 1400 people fucking you off on a nearly daily basis? I only follow 5 pricks and that seems to be enough.
Especially when they retweet stuff I give NO FUCKS about and I'm sorely tempted to "unfollow" the cunts. Would this be rude?

Everyone says "oh, twitter, it's a seething cesspool". Yet it seems quite friendly to me. No one's had a crack at me yet. Anyone can just tweet after one of my tweets and call me a raging fuckwit, is that right?

Still mystified how people find shit. eg a pal pointed out that the ONLY person to "like" this post of mine is a "Slim Jim Phantom" who he assures me is a famous person (no idea who he is)

https://twitter.com/sapporo_records/status/993728332834340864

so how did the famous rockabilly guy find a tiny little doom metal post from someone with a tiny clutch of "followers"?

anyway, dump your twitter handles here, you hopeless wankers. I am https://twitter.com/Dismal_Pillock
9
Non Lit / Daily Mainichi News Wire
« on: May 15, 2018, 01:58:47 AM »
Japanese Prince, Aged 11, Declares Himself “Ready” for Japan’s Throne

--Japan Times—

Japan’s Prince Hisahito, aged 11, and 3rd in line to the Japanese throne, has declared himself “ready” to be the next Emperor of Japan. “I’ve finished my homework and already had my first wank just last week. That means I’m ready for the Iron Throne. Plus I’ve seen all the nudie books down at 7-11. I know what the fuck I’m doing here.”


“If I fuck you up the arse is it still incest?”
--The Prince (centre) walking with his sisters.

“First order of business will be getting myself a big fucking samurai sword to behead all of my wanker siblings” continued the Prince, safely out of earshot of his 2 sisters. “Cutting out the competition is crucial to ensuring my reign is long and prosperous. After the public executions, next order of business will be to secure the last remaining Pokemon cards that I don’t already have. I’ll send some minion fuckhead serf door-to-door to make the required collections. After those 2 key strategic goals have been attained, the rest of my reign will be fairly straight-forward, my days mainly centred around fucking bitches and eating lollies.”


“Phew. That was awesome. The ol' in and out. Still not incest right? That was pretty much just like in the mags down at 7-11. Maybe even racier. Now then, let’s head home, I can’t wait to show you my big shiny samurai sword. It's just like my cock, that being, I’ve polished the fucken thing until it shines.”

10
Non Lit / Garden Shed
« on: May 12, 2018, 05:45:33 PM »
United States of America Civil Defence Brochure


Dial L for Switzerland.



































Verse 5:12 in the Bible?

What is it?

Oops, too slow, radiation on the cock, oh shi































ALWAYS wash your hands thoroughly
before dialling "L" for Switzerland.


























A car aerial this large will alert terrorists as to your
whereabouts within seconds. Jesus. Just use a
fucken coat hangar like everyone else.

































In the event of biological agents stripping your face of it's features
 and causing your body to grow to grotesque proportions:

1. Proceed indoors in a calm, orderly fashion (mind your head.)

2. Stay there, out of public view.

3. Await further instructions, ELEPHANT MAN.































"Yeahhh, might get that as a cool new tattoo around my bumhole."

Meanwhile, all the fish are dying from radiation poisoning.





































In the event of a terrorist attack, quickly throttle yourself.
Ignore the colors and move briskly towards the light.
































This is an " interactive" diagram.

1. Turn on your computer speakers.

2. Press your nose close to the diagram.

3. Smell anything?

Back up, Beaker.

In the time you have wasted reading this, a lethal nerve gas has infiltrated your computer whilst Agent Orange (above, centre) has incapacitated your family and loved ones in the other room.

Nice one, NOAM.















As the biological agents take effect and you grow to monstrous
size, remember to DUCK AND ROLL, concealing your face as your
 appearance becomes increasingly hideous.



































Keep your head out of the clouds.
Terrorists exploit overconfidence.


































Ignore exits with oversized red arrows partially jammed in the door.

THESE ARE CLEARLY TERRORIST TRAPS.































Don't be a hero.
As you cower and stave off the inevitable, you
may as well attempt to fellate yourself one last time.



























Ignore the hand and the arrows.
Why is the door elevated? Are you at sea?
Where did you wake up this morning? THINK.


















































To thwart the terrorist, one must think like the terrorist.

Memorise elaborate escape routes.


































2 days after exposure to radiation your body is longer than two entire city blocks.

Forget "Elephant Man". Head straight to Roswell.










































Give my regards to Broadway, Roswell.

Start spreading the news.





























Argument with the spouse?
Let it go.
File it away.
Then cometh the hour, calmly proceed to your
basement fallout shelter and lock that bitch out.































GREEN WIRE? RED WIRE? GREEN? RED?

Which one DAMNIT, which ONE?

There are no wires.

In your haste you have misinterpreted the diagram.

R.I.P.






























In the event of a terrorist attack you have roughly 10 minutes to sell
all of your shit and head straight to Switzerland (see following diagram)

























11
Non Lit / All Purpose Music Discussionne
« on: May 03, 2018, 02:41:35 PM »
I am a mental
12
Lit / SS Cygni Nova Feedback
« on: July 16, 2016, 11:16:59 PM »
yeah nah
Pages: [1]