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 on: March 21, 2020, 10:49:11 PM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
SPIRITUALIZED let it come down CD 3 pound. another reacquisition after I brilliantly sold the LP yonks ago
NEIL YOUNG psychedelic pill 2xCD 5 pounds. I am shocked at how awesome this is. Came out in 2012? FFS Neil Young mustve been 70 years old
ZAPP s/t LP 1,000 yen. Finally. Fucking finally. Only been on my stupid wantlist for 800 years. In the end though, kind of a letdown. Zapp II way better
TORCHE hamonslaught 7" $5. tortal munt
COALESCE salt and passage 7" $3. god know why I like this constipated cookie monster angst
COCTEAU TWINS head over heels LP 1500 yen. massive splurge to get this cunt back

 on: March 21, 2020, 10:37:26 PM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
Here in The Lockdown have embarked on my boldest, stupidest most menial journey yet; typing out THE Definitive Alltime 500 Best Albums list.

FFS why do I start these things.

Had a look at Rolling Stone's list. ffs. Even shittier than I thought it would be. Had to scroll about 3 metres before I got to anything from this damn century and then it was "2001; Abba's Greatest Hits." ffs boomers. way to drop the ball. Get your heads out your arses.

Fuck sales/reputation/hipness. My sole criteria; The Thrill

 on: March 21, 2020, 10:21:01 PM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
Back in the days when we had The Sports Seasons (already seems so foolish and childish and trivial, looking back now since The Event) I interviewed resident boofhead T.Prokash about the vagaries of his local variation of BoofBall and he kindly provided the following responses via The Twitter which I cleverly didnt even fucken notice until yesterday. Sorry Prokash, FFS I am a stupid cunt at times. Yes, at all times.

SD: Fill this in and I will post it at The Forii. Please provide elaborate informative answers with a MINIMUM of personal insults directed at my good self. That's **MINIMUM** not **MAXIMUM**, Prokash, you CTE braindead iron lung cripple.

TP: ffs. not now.

SD: Take your time. Your mother and I will be administering a grade for this assignment. Show your working.

SD: WFT is "Ineligible Man Downfield"?   

TP: Quite simple. In keeping with the American ethos of beauty over everything, this rule is in place to ensure that only the fit and adonis-like catch passes and get face time on the telly. Basically a rule to keep the fat fucks doing all the nasty dirty work in their sties. Although there is the possibility for these porkers to try and satisfy their hopeless masturbatory dreams of glory: they need to line up on the end of the line of scrimmage (being "uncovered" by another player, of course, meaning they are the end man on their side of the line, {you need to be roughly within a yard of the the LOS to be considered "on the line", so that's where a "slot" or "flanker" comes into play, basically some extra-metatarsal-having speed-wanker in a sprinter stance a yard or two off the ball making him and whatever wanker is "inside" of him eligible to catch a pass {{thus eligible to run more than three yards downfield of course}}) but also, most importantly, they must "report" - to the official that is, so that the ref can announce their eligibility to the whole crowd so that everyone can be sure to get a good eyeful when this oaf goes waddling out into his route and the QB pets his fat ass in the soft tissue with an 80-mph frozen fastball from 5 yards away, causing him stumble and fall like a drunken Russian circus bear. In this case everyone has a good laugh, taking a cue from our rich, handsome prototype queer fantasy QB, and we move on to second down. a non-reporting player on the interior of the line must stay within three yards of the LOS on a pass play. (to be a qualifying "pass play" the ball must be thrown FORWARD beyond the line of scrimmage.

SD: WFT is "play action"? (the combination of those two words would appear to encompass the entire gamut of movement itself.)       

TP: "play action" is when the action of the play is designed to look like a running play, but is actually a pass, usually with the QB faking a handoff. The idea here is to hopefully slow down the pass rush and to get a false step or two out of a linebacker or safety thus clearing some space for your receivers to run their routes. I don't have the guts or energy to make a funny on this one. christ.

SD: Prokash, how bad is your CTE personally?         

TP: Time will tell on this one. I remember getting knocked silly at least once in high school, but the fog pretty much lifted after a couple plays. If I sense my brain slipping at some point here, I'll probably just hit the sauce pretty hard and call it a day.

SD: If you're not entirely confident in the callipygous qualities of your posterior how fucken embarrassing is it to walk around in those skintight yoga pants?         

TP: Quite embarrassing I would imagine. That's why we keep the porkers for the most part confined to the trenches and off camera. (pro tip: sometimes these brutes even PISS & SHIT themselves on the field! Have a good stare at their lumpy hind quarters if the camera ever inadvertently lingers on 'em)

SD: Pros and Cons of the following commentators: Fouts, Romo and Collinsworth.   

TP: Fouts - Pros: knows his shit. has that old school, gentlemanly quality that any subject of the crown-type wanker should appreciate. Cons: probably a closet wife beater or racist or some shit.     

Romo: really knows his shit and hasn't been away from the game for very long so his insight is current. legitimately funny at times. my favorite color guy for sure. Cons: sometimes too smart for his own britches and comes off like the cocky asshole I-got-a-rich-daddy kid in junior high.   

Collinsworth: Pros: eh... knows what he's talking about for the most part... BUT Cons: he's gotten to the point now where it's like he doesn't know if he's doing a football game or a video game voice over. he's wandered into John Madden, hokey self parody territory. A lot of the time just spouting bullshit. Also thank you for not asking about Buck & Aikman.

SD: Prokash, bearing in mind your personal braindead vegetative advanced CTE state would you let your kiddies play BoofBall?       

TP: I have one boy that played all the way through middle school & high school and one year at a DIII college (until he realized what college was really for, hint: it ain't about having your ass owned and herded around by a football team that you're basically paying to play for). He suffered one concussion that we know about but still seems pretty close to baseline. I reckon all the weed he smokes keeps his brain regular.         I have an 11-yo that plays football currently. He is a big fucker so I don't worry about him too much. When he was 4 we discovered an arachnoid cyst on his brain which troubled us at first until the top children's brain surgeon in the state of Wisconsin assured us (in confidence-inspiring Paki-flavored english) that the cyst was benign and tucked safely away on the inside of the left frontal lobe, saying that for something to cause this cyst to burst, you would have bigger problems than the cyst. "so he'll be able to play football?" we said. "Well... I'm a brain surgeon; I don't think anybody should play football" he said. So... boff away young champion and make your daddy proud!

SD: The offseason goes from January to September. WFT do these fat cunts do all year?     

TP: They let their fucking bodies heal from the couple hundred car wrecks they endured in season, I suppose. They smoke a lot of weed, crack their girlfriends across the forehead with the barrel of their AR, IDK. Starting quarterbacks film commercials for multinational insurance companies and get "full body" massages from kidnapped 12-yo filipino girls on their team owner's yacht. Training camp starts in July, so... yeah they've got a lot to get to in the space of a couple months.

Hope this helps. And don't cheer for the Packers tonight; we got enough deficiencies to overcome without having to deal with your reeking mongrel vibes.

 on: March 04, 2020, 05:56:00 PM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
OMFG www.anaerectic.art got abandoned real fast. Totally swamped with viagra salesmen now. #filling_my_boots_baby

 on: March 04, 2020, 05:53:15 PM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
Fucked if I know why i get sucked into this seppo politics narrative. Nothing to do with me here on the 666th Pitcairns parallel and the only effect on me is Fat Guts Donnie and his fossil fuel wankery making the summer a wee bit hotter.

But, thanks to CN fucking N being one of the rando channels in my cable package, ensnared in it I am. By the way, fuck CNN. Right up the clacka. I cannot watch that shit today here in the aftermath of SuperCunt Tuesady. As the dems rallied around ol' Sleepy Joe, so too are ALL the CNN pundits subscribing to the bias that Bernie is "the threat". The threat to fucking what? Your paychecks? They're not even feigning being impartial about it now.

A stab at a timeline:

Sunday: oh fuck yeah, Bernie7s goign great guns, he's gonna fuck Donnie's shit up then fix the world.

Monday: Don Corleone Obama places a group call to Buttgieg and Knoblucjar.

"This is Obama. Would you 2 gay nigger-hating FUCKWITS please fuck off.
"Sir, this is Pete and respectfully you cannot use that sort of language here in..."
"Did I say you could talk you little nazi faggot?"
"No Sir, you did not but..."
"Then shut the fuck up you phony little wall st cunt. We cannot have Bernie the sensible commie in the fucken white house. He will tax you, me and all our rich as shit buddies halfway to Sixpackistan and back."

"Yes Sir, I will withdraw my candidacy immediately."
"You too, knob butcher or whatever your fucken name is."
"Yes Sir."
"Orrrrrr you could both stay in the race and never ever receive any position of power or influence in politics for the remainder of your little fucken Hitler wanker days."
"I thought so. Cunts."


Tuesday: entire sepposphere idiotically rallies around establishment cardboard cutout Sleepy Joe, who is visibly in the early stages of cognitive disrepair, and who will be dog tucker to Orange CheetoBrain in the November election

 on: February 04, 2020, 01:51:11 AM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
STEVIE WONDER songs in key of life 2xLP 500 yen. yet another round with this
THE FALL new real fall CD 6 pound. 2003 yet still godhead
OF CABBAGES AND KINGS hunters moon CD 4pound. long term wantlist ticked off. think I'm the only person on earth who likes this old 80's band. an altrock type thing with Swans/Unsane drummers

 on: December 27, 2019, 02:29:56 AM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
the final push for 2019, the year-end 50% off sales...

Buzzcocks ‎– Love You More 7" 400 yen
16 ‎– Felicia 7" 200 yen
16 ‎– Blaze Of Incompetence LP 300 yen total doom stoner score
Rolling Stones ‎– Let It Bleed LP 700 yen. fuck these clowns but fine, i'll do another round
James Brown-Perfect comp 2xLP 1,000 yen. total godhead sound
The Fall - The Real New Fall cd 7 pounds. winner
The Fall - Hex Enduction Hour LP 900 yen. eureka find in the wild and I TOTALLY deserve it. Goodbye, cd copy.

 on: December 15, 2019, 06:15:24 PM 
Started by Hoog - Last post by Sprague Dawley
Idyllic childhoods = not good for forging wonderful writey writey people.

Need that horror show back there, the one that forced the child to seclude themselves away from the madness of the adults into a world with things they could control, toys, books, and then the words that would be their lifelong refuge.

 on: December 15, 2019, 01:37:25 PM 
Started by Hoog - Last post by dapells
I subscribe to your theory, brilliant prose is released only through pain. I have read vast amounts of work and it is obvious, from the first sentence, who has suffered. By the time the first paragraph is finished, you want to throttle them, plunge a fork  into their chest and twist. After finishing a full page, you want to pull their hair out, light them on fire while skull fucking their wife. In my quest for excellence, I would avail these techniques to all in need.

Luxury and abundance have cursed my life, love and joy flow in my veins. I am truly doomed yet knowing I could be part of the creative process is thrilling. A few noted authors, in my opinion, would benefit from some pain in their lives but if you know of someone who is  desperate for help, let me know.

 on: December 06, 2019, 05:57:27 PM 
Started by Sprague Dawley - Last post by Sprague Dawley
Ed Kuepper - Electrical Storm LP 15 euro
Ed Kuepper - Honey Steel's Gold LP 10 euro lp upgrade from my cd copy, worth every penny, ffs, quality over quantity from here on in
Part Chimp - Bring Back The Sound 7" 2 pound. fukkk i need it all by this band
Booker T & The MG's - Time Is Tight 7" 2 pound. godhead
The Hunches - Lisa Told Me 7" 3 pound. distressed gene-o used to whack it over this band, 1 side is fine, the other is OTT raucous
Cocteau Twins - Heaven Or Las Vegas LP €18.00. massive splurge but fuckit I need this cunt back in my life and the represses are all dogshit

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