Author Topic: What movies have you viewed recently?  (Read 5933 times)

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manuelmarrero

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What movies have you viewed recently?
« on: May 14, 2018, 11:14:35 PM »
I judge each on their own terms.
Old (revisited)
Jules and Jim: 10/10
Elevator to the Gallows: 8/10
Le Samourai: 7/10
Cobra: 10/10
New
Good Time: 10/10
Personal Shopper: 10/10
Detroit: 8/10
The Last Jedi: 5/10



Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #1 on: May 15, 2018, 01:00:06 AM »
Transformers: The Last Knight (2017) 2/10

Like a mentally-handicapped drongo I flopped on the sofa the other night and soon channel surfed across this barge-arsed piece of shit. Well, some cunt has spent a metric fucktonne of $$ to make this major motion film picture so surely it is some sort of a spectacle for my work-addled, half-asleep brain. So I started watching. Soon realised the camera doesnt stay on any one scene for longer than about 3 seconds. This goes on for about 3 hours. GTFO. The eye soon gives up, says fuck you to the brain, which gives up attempting to process anything, resulting in a big no sorry to Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch. Bit sad really cos they really tried with the whole Merlin/Knights of Round Table narrative bollocks. Plus the exorbitant special effects ffs. 16% on RT. All that hectic shit and you compare it to, say, 2001 A Space Odyssey, where not a single damn thing happens for minutes on end. Come to think of it, wouldn't mind watching this Marky Mark effort playing at 1/10th of its intended speed... while on drugs. 1/10th the speed so the cunt goes for 30 hours. Could be quite relaxing, all that opulent lighting and shit. Mute the sound, some quiet doom metal droning away in the background.
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

manuelmarrero

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #2 on: May 17, 2018, 01:56:51 PM »
Martyrs: 10/10

Shit got me shook. Far as horror movies go, it feels significant. In fact, Iím hard-pressed to recall any cinematic foray into macabre/body horror that punishes its viewers with such a relentless endurance test. Gore hounds and masochists who find value in feeling profoundly disturbed have found a holy grail. For everyone else, avoid like a festering case of shingles.

tedprokash

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2018, 05:41:03 PM »
Pervert Park

Does that count as a movie? It was pretty heavy. Short, which I thought was nice, because its point is pretty simple: You dumb fucking Americans, the only way you know how to approach a problem is to either figure out how to profit by it, or figure out how to limit damage to profits; preferably the former. It's the only thing we're good at, and it's not a very encouraging deal either politically or mental/physical health-wise.

manuelmarrero

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2018, 02:25:59 PM »
Pervert Park

Does that count as a movie? It was pretty heavy. Short, which I thought was nice, because its point is pretty simple: You dumb fucking Americans, the only way you know how to approach a problem is to either figure out how to profit by it, or figure out how to limit damage to profits; preferably the former. It's the only thing we're good at, and it's not a very encouraging deal either politically or mental/physical health-wise.

Sounds like a great way to get willfully depressed, that is, I'd probably enjoy this.

Been watching a lot of Giallo recently, the italian horror subgenre with uniform dollops of boobs, gutsy color palettes, synth soundtracks and schlocky english dubs. The best
so far are largely the obvious ones (The Beyond, Zombie, Lisa and the Devil, Suspiria), but almost all Argento, Bava and Fulci is worth watching.

Watched all the Friday the 13th films. 1-3 are basically interchangeable, and the parts of 4, 6 and 8 that didn't leak through the holes in my brain were good.
It took a long time for them to develop such an iconic, yet stupidly simple character.


Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #5 on: August 31, 2018, 04:49:53 AM »
Tried to watch Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy but cried off halfway through. 60% on Rotten Tomatoes but I'd have it at barely half that. The fun twee language may have worked in the book in 1980 but by the time they got around to making the goddamn movie in 2004 it did not sound flash. Dated. Plus, the film didn't match my imaging from the book, of course, so I felt vaguely insulted.

I'm convinced Marvin the depressed robot was the inspiration for Neil the hippie from The Young Ones a couple of years later. So who do they cast for Marvin's voice in the movie, the most comedically fun role in the whole book? HANS, the fucking baddie from Die Hard. They gave the best comical role to one of the most recognisable baddest baddies voices in major motion picture history. FFS he is one of the LAST people I would have picked, you hollywood dipshits.

Wild book though. 1980 and he dropped "babelfish" and "googleplex" in there as concepts he just pulled out of his arse? In 1980? FFS, that shit came true and made some cunts a SHITLODE of money.
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
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manuelmarrero

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #6 on: August 31, 2018, 08:20:34 PM »
Watched Dead Ringers to round out my Cronenberg completism. Maybe because he cowrote and it's adapted from a play, but great synopsis, mostly
unenjoyable movie. Didn't dig the dual Jeremy Irons. The lead babe's not much to look at. Twisted concept, though. Probably a better play. This was
Chan-Wook Park's favorite? 7/10






manuelmarrero

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2018, 01:09:51 PM »
Why does this feel like an SNL skit? https://youtu.be/VgLo5Cag1S4

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2018, 02:02:16 PM »
Why does this feel like an SNL skit? https://youtu.be/VgLo5Cag1S4

haha, checked it at Rotten Tomatoes, clocking in at a sveltely ecomomical 0%.

Travolta missed a trick by not hijacking it with some scientology talk, all them power lines... "feeel the thetan pulse, that frequency has Andromeda 262 written all over it and that means one thing gentlemen.... (massively climactic Hollywood pregnant pause, cue foreboding strings)..... it's Contact Day."
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2018, 02:33:59 PM »

"Listen, you hear that sound?
"Duhh, I don't hear nuthin chief.
"That's the 62 kilohertz thrum L.Ron set aside for Contact Day! Quick, take your cock out, we need to fashion a makeshift contact antennae.
"Duhh, I dunno about that chief, I don't see nuthin up there.
"COCK OUT NOW, POWERBOY."
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #10 on: September 29, 2018, 01:00:28 AM »
James Bond month on the movie channel. Wish Hoog was here to watch with me, now that he's retired from writing

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Bridge too far for Connery. He looks about 55 in this one. Plus the big screen would've hardly been wide enought for his fucken eyebrows by then. Jesus, once you notice the bastards you can't stop looking. They're like two Moby Dick's cresting over the brim. Or brimming over the crest. Or whatever it is you writer cunts would say.

Turns out this was his last film as main Bond. Still better than his successor though, Roger Moore the wimpy toff.

Overall, this outing is kind of a mailed-in piece of shit. Virtually no flash spy gizmos from Q or M or whoever the old git was. They just drive around a very tinpot-looking fledgling downtown Las Vegas for a bit then later on dick around on an oil rig then the fucken thing ends.

The #metoo crowd would chunder in their granny gruds at the zeitgeist or oeuvre or whatever of this carry-on. Basically Connery tries to fuck every single spunk the instant she appears on screen. And they're all spunks. cue Scottish brogue, "What other purpose do they have Moneypenny?"
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #11 on: September 29, 2018, 01:02:10 AM »
The Man With The Golden Gun (1974)

My Rotten Tomatoes guess was 55%. Not even that. 45%. It's that shit. Rog Moore might be more debonair and elegant than Connery but he already looked too stiff and old and wooden to win any fight, even right from back when he fucken started being Bond.

Again, absolutely fuckall flash gadgetry from HQ.

Best parts were the comedically casual sexism and expansive and druggy 70's decor grottos
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2018, 01:04:40 AM »
The Spy Who Loved Me. (1977)

First Bond film I saw. Therefore alltime classic. Everyone's first Bond film is an alltime classic. Man, as soon as I saw the opening skiing stunt it all came back to me, 1977, that shit blew my mushroom dick right the fuck off back then.

Big improvement in pyrotechnics too. And gadgetry. The underwater Lotus is alltime #1 Bond gadget. God I can still rememebr the mini stiffy I had for that thing as a sprog

Moore is still too mannequin-stiff to look like he'd win any fistfight though.

Can recall henchman "Jaws" scaring the crap out of me as a kid but wft now he just looks like a gimpy, bad-dental, no-cardio rugby lock forward.
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #13 on: September 30, 2018, 11:48:51 PM »
Moonraker (1979)

Bit off a bit more than they could chew plot wise, shoehorning about 17 exotic countries into the setting. Then off to space.

Jaws went a bit Wile E Coyote in this one. Got the spunkiest chick in the end though.

Baddie "Drax" with identical accent to dwarf from Game of Thrones was a bit distracting. Good baddie though. Well spoken and loquacious without being all overly convivial like Christopher Lee about 3 films prior.

There were no fat people in the 1970's. McD a fledgling operation yet to transform large swathes of humanity into corpulent puddingshits

The only purpose for women in life according to 70's Bond World was to please men. There were no ugly women. Or if there were, they served no purpose in the lives of men therefore were invisible.
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: What movies have you viewed recently?
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2018, 04:31:40 PM »
For Your Eyes Only. (1981)

The 70's are over. Still all very quaint prior to CGI though. The baddies are still a bit hapless and unmenacing.

No more huge spacious wacko 70's pastel grottos though.

Fuckall gadgets in this one. Overall, apart from the locations, it looked a bit low budget. Stuff all sets, just some ski/car chases. Slick action scenes though. Mountain climbing. Luge run with bobsled chased by skier chased by trailbike. No CGI. "You get on that fucking motorbike and follow the bobsled team and skier cunt down the fucken run. And try not to die, shithead. One take, you fucking useless fuckhead."

Aryan nazi biathlon wanker wasnt a bad baddie. The main baddie was shit. Hardly even knew who he was for the first hour. Speaking of Game of Thrones, one of the baddies was a very young Daddy Lannister from Game of Thrones, who, spoiler, carked it on the throne in GOT.
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut