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Author Topic: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable  (Read 1568 times)

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Sprague Dawley

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« Last Edit: January 30, 2019, 06:11:25 PM by Sprague Dawley »
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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 10:29:59 PM »

NZ's Perennially Pregnant Prime Minister Finds Work Sub

--NZ Herald--

With New Zealand's perpetually pregnant Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern popping out sprogs left right and centre the question is, who will run the country while she is incapacitated with her birth-hatch shits and struggles and fart bubbles? In something of a break from political protocol, Ardern's boyfriend Clarke Gayford has said he will "fill in for her at work."


"No, for the 10th time, his name is Gayford but he is not fucking gay. You deaf cunts. For fucks sake he just rooted me up the shitter this morning. Twice. Hang on... maybe that means he is gay. Fuck. No further comment. Um, Clarke, a word...."

Mr Gayford seemed fairly nonplussed over the responsibility of taking over a nation. "Yeah it'll get me out of the bloody house. Away from all that shrieking nappie-faced ruckus. The idea of babies sounds a bit demonic to me, all that screaming and shitting and wailing and 'me-bloody-first' theatrics. Plus it'd get me some precious time away from Princess Goebbels Mussolini there, barking her post-natally depressed nuts off at me. It'll be easier running the fucken country. I mean what is there to do? We've got the world's 805th biggest economy. Fuck-all happens. Just make sure there's enough pies at the petrol stations and the rugby telecasts pop up on time. Righto."

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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2018, 03:40:36 PM »

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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable
« Reply #3 on: February 05, 2019, 10:31:17 PM »

Quote
Transcript of President Trump's State of the Union address (for non-americans)


"Good evening, my fellow Americans."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.





"America invented freedom."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.





"I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow..."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.





"I believe that children are our future."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.






"Teach them well and let them lead the way."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.






"Boogers."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.







"Nose goblins."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.







"Moon rocks."

RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE and 30-second standing ovation, shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, then everyone sits down again.






"Thank you everyone, goodnight, and God Bless The United States of America."

THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE, extended standing ovation and shouts of U-S-A!, U-S-A!, U-S-A!

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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2019, 01:12:41 AM »

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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2019, 05:25:06 PM »

Oh shit. Warren has no chance. Her voice sounds exactly like Stuart's mum from Mad TV:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLM8uDKlR8o
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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Deeply Bilateral & Partisan Political Discussionne Roundtable
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2020, 05:53:15 PM »

Fucked if I know why i get sucked into this seppo politics narrative. Nothing to do with me here on the 666th Pitcairns parallel and the only effect on me is Fat Guts Donnie and his fossil fuel wankery making the summer a wee bit hotter.

But, thanks to CN fucking N being one of the rando channels in my cable package, ensnared in it I am. By the way, fuck CNN. Right up the clacka. I cannot watch that shit today here in the aftermath of SuperCunt Tuesady. As the dems rallied around ol' Sleepy Joe, so too are ALL the CNN pundits subscribing to the bias that Bernie is "the threat". The threat to fucking what? Your paychecks? They're not even feigning being impartial about it now.

A stab at a timeline:

Sunday: oh fuck yeah, Bernie7s goign great guns, he's gonna fuck Donnie's shit up then fix the world.

Monday: Don Corleone Obama places a group call to Buttgieg and Knoblucjar.

"This is Obama. Would you 2 gay nigger-hating FUCKWITS please fuck off.
"Sir, this is Pete and respectfully you cannot use that sort of language here in..."
"Did I say you could talk you little nazi faggot?"
"No Sir, you did not but..."
"Then shut the fuck up you phony little wall st cunt. We cannot have Bernie the sensible commie in the fucken white house. He will tax you, me and all our rich as shit buddies halfway to Sixpackistan and back."

"Yes Sir, I will withdraw my candidacy immediately."
"You too, knob butcher or whatever your fucken name is."
"Yes Sir."
"Orrrrrr you could both stay in the race and never ever receive any position of power or influence in politics for the remainder of your little fucken Hitler wanker days."
"............"
"I thought so. Cunts."

*click*

Tuesday: entire sepposphere idiotically rallies around establishment cardboard cutout Sleepy Joe, who is visibly in the early stages of cognitive disrepair, and who will be dog tucker to Orange CheetoBrain in the November election
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"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut