Author Topic: Amazon wants $10,000 from you  (Read 824 times)

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Sprague Dawley

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #1 on: September 01, 2018, 12:55:35 AM »
Quote
The business owners will be able to make as much as $300,000 a year in profit running a full-sized fleet of 40 vans and managing 100 employees, according to Amazon.

So they want a simpering prefect-type who is dumb and desperate enough to offer $10,000 up front and assume all the risk of getting fucked up the arse by fuckhead employees/sick days/drivers nickign shit/traffic accidents/lawsuits etc as well as being the type of cretinous cunt who would have NO QUALMS WHATSOEVER about fucking over his fellow man with that 300K etched in solid unattanium fuzzy dice dangling on the horizon

Amazon is pure fucken evil. Camp Leader worked for them for a while but cried off after one too many 10pm finishes. That plus the atmosphere is dead rotten, all the management hate each other and the place is run like a fucking cult with their Ten Tenets brainwashing horseshit. Massive staff turnover, cunts leaving all the fucken time. Yet  the biz is still booming. Opening humungous new building in Tokio.

sounds like the beginning of a photo essay "Gunston & Gunston Amazon, just give us 100K and whether you ordered it or not, Trev will biff a Bananarama Interview Picture Disk in the general vicinity of your porch within 3 MONTHS as he speeds past in his ute OR YOUR MONEY BACK."

ps charges will be reflected in your monthly statement

psp no refunds cunt
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
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manuelmarrero

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2018, 01:13:45 PM »
The comments are worth a laugh. Agreed, Amazon is pure evil. So is Apple, the Bill and Melinda Gates foundation, and any organization that indulges profligacy and frivolity while the gilded cage rattles and seas rise. Patronizing these companies is tantamount to crossing an international picket line, and yet not doing so amounts to breaking the law because they’ve monopolized digital content, and pirating movies with a VPN or no; I don’t need the stress. The individual can’t win. Limit your patronage, curb your endorsement and fuck piety to these soulless corporate motherfuckers every chance you get. They belong in the prisons and detention centers they donate to, and Jeff Bezos oughta spend some time between 4 mauve-colored walls thinking about what a boring, complacent world he’s building.

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #3 on: September 01, 2018, 04:23:53 PM »
Jeff Bezos oughta spend some time between 4 mauve-colored walls thinking about what a boring, complacent world he’s building.
In tandem with Zuckerberg's hyperbland hive of inanity. The two of them. And the people LOVE it.

Almost fucks me off how easy it is to use Amazon, I'll be scabbing ariound online trying to buy some little thing, then after 30 mins fruitless search will remmeber Amazon, within about 30 seconds i've found it, bought it, paid for it and the cunting thing is in transit. Absolute piece of piss. Recipe of their success iHomo.
"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
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tedprokash

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2018, 05:41:03 PM »
this is only a comment on one tentacle of the Amazon operation... For my first book I bought the ISBN and ran 500 copies with some online printer, basically putting my family back a couple months on the bills for a dozen boxes of dunnage to pile in my closet. Stupid. For the next one, my brother in law, (an interesting case in his own right - the only legitimate genius I know - works for Linked In, story for another time, yadda yadda) convinced me to publish with Createspace which is owned by Amazon. The whole process was incredibly convenient and involved almost no overhead at all. They print on demand. You have complete creative control... They don't make any $ off of small time fucks like me, I suppose it's just a part of their plan to dominate every aspect of commerce. Get everybody under their umbrella. In the end I'm much happier, feeling much less slimy, working with a legit independent publisher like Expat. But I don't regret using Createspace's (cough, cough, Amazon's) services. The alternative would have been sitting on my shit, shopping it around for who knows how long. The big step was to make the book available and thus be able to shove it/them under the noses of fine folks like our moderator. IDK.

Incidentally, there was a bit of a row with the Howls From the Underground thing I was a part of. Tony, who put it out, wanted to use Lula which he's always used for Screamin' Skull Press. A couple of the other authors who are essentially Amazon (creatspace) guys shouted him down, extolling the benefits of using Amazon. Tony was just queasy about using Amazon but it just seemed to me like arguing for Target over Walmart. There's some good stuff that people publish w/Amazon but there's also sooooo much garbage. It's better, of course, if the thing works organically, and artists of a similar stripe, aesthetic, bent, whatever, congregate around a publisher that's hip to said shit. It just seems hopeless to a lot of artists who don't have any connections to a scene or like-minded folks, etc. etc. So Amazon is a short cut. I suppose ultimately I'm contributing to the greater problem by dealing with Amazon (as we all are by using their services at all) but hell, it's all water under the bridge now! Just don't stick me in one of your fucking warehouses master! I'm real good with words!

manuelmarrero

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2018, 10:40:48 PM »
1,000,000,000,000

bibles

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2018, 07:40:42 AM »
I'd use createspace if I had to. Amazon is the enemy to Google however - if you're not counting apple. I've got a lot of brand loyalty to Google, so it is tougher for me to justify a createspace creation. I've got some chinks in my shell now though, so again, I'm not totally against it.

Sprague Dawley

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Re: Amazon wants $10,000 from you
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2019, 04:45:47 AM »
Amazon FAQ Customer Service Help Desk



Gidday, cunts.

Fucken Wayne here.



Jeff got me this job manning the Amazon FAQ Help Desk. Pretty good job, plenty of time to whack off. Fucken piece of piss rolling up the back door so Trev can back the ute in and fill the fucker up with primo amazon shit too.

Righto, the fucken FAQ:

Can I save time shopping online?

Time is of the essence.






Can I save money when I shop on the Web?

You are a valued customer. Anything else I can help you with?








Can I avoid human contact?

Don't give me your fucken nits cunt









Is some stuff free?

Fuck no. Jeff’s a rich fucker and rich fuckers are NOT in the business of giving shit away. You are a valued customer. Anything else I can help you with?








Can I just research products online, and then go to a local store?

Fine then, fuck ya, go on, fuck off then. You are a valued customer. Anything else I can help you with?








What Do I Need to Shop Online?

You are a valued customer. Anything else I can help you with?







Do I have to have a particular computer or Web browser?

Daewoo all the way. You are a valued ah fuck this








What Kind of Stores Are on the Web?

Online stores.








What makes online stores possible?

Magnets.









What are the signs that an online store is reliable?

Jeff’s face.








What makes an online store easy to use?

Computers.







Where Can I Find a Good Store?

The internet. Fuck me some of these questions are shit.







Why doesn’t this store offer a paper catalog?

Ask Jeff.








What lies behind the store’s search mechanism?

Some nerd cunt.








How can I search for a product if I don’t know a brand name?

I dunno, maybe try hypnotising your own cock?







I got too many results. How can I narrow down my search?

Fucked if I know. Maybe close one eye?








What if I completely fail to discover the product using the search?

Blame Daewoo.








Why does the store want to know about my tastes, interests, age, and marital status?

Jeff's spankbank is bigger than an actual bank.









What if I forget my user name?

Your name is Jason Bourne.









What is this log-in stuff?

I know, right?







Are there different ways to pay?

Sure.







What is checkout?

You check out Aunty Doris and I will clock you.







How safe is my credit card information with an online store?

Moderately safe. You are a valued customer. Anything else I can help you with?






What does “submit” mean?

Jeff has a HUGE collection of submission vids. Fucken HUGE.







What shipping options do I have?

Really, what options do any of us have?










Why won’t they ship to a post office box?

Because you’re a fucken terrorist.








On a military base, what kind of shipping can I get?

Fuck off, jarhead cunt.








How much does shipping cost?

It’s not cheap mate.









What should I do the moment I receive my package?

Squeal like a little girl.









How can I return a product?

Chuck it over the balcony. Jeff’s waiting below to catch it.









Where Can I Go to Solve Problems?

FAQ









What can I do to avoid fraud online?

Look up Jung instead.








What can I do if I am the victim of fraud?

Fucked if I know mate I’m not the dickhead with a mother complex.

"We are here on earth to fart around and don't let anyone tell you different."
-K.Vonnegut