Goofy’s Rules – Isaac Offski

November 5, 2025

Orchids of doomsday bulletin:
“Authorities notified; evac
units currently en route”

Waging battle
with mutineer turboprop centipedes
ain’t no picnic

Mama Mia!
Gaia’s grief, splitsville
from geisha boytoy Uranus

Who put MCU
in charge of the entire
Egyptian Pantheon?

“Cronus chewing off heads
left & right, spewing vitriol
naked as a jaybird”

Finite channels for switching
bodies, eyelash-gender branded
canned DNA strands

War waged in simulation
daily, hung up on
alpine slush pudding cups

 

 

Finny Got a Job

Finny got a job with the Department down in the spillways painting over graffiti gray paint like onna battle ship. Battleship uniformity is what they’re after. They don’t want color it distracts from the nothingness that occurs in spillways other than rapes n murders & sweet nothings from the ducks & rats & possums & sardine cans Sudden cold flapping orange fabric Look like he just released from a jail. Lime green reflector tape for flair. MSG to hot Comptroller damn little flirt: go head venmo us a order a Starbucks so we’s throwing the cups out in the gutter by the side of the wash by the cyclone fence where vastly they accumulate. For some other pleb stoop to picking. Since Fin gonna be a departmental pleb posterboy, since he a yob got a job blocking out color like brutalism blocking out the sun like video hacks blot out flowers & trashy animals & vlogs fulla full frontal nudity. Finn’s brain prone unused to working long hours of the day, whooped it up too much in the night Now he’s gotta pee, gotta pee by the side of the spillway up & out into the alley up against a dumpster, so then why not a smoky John Law, flat-foot shiny badge vest camera-equipped man come out of nowhere pick him up. Finny picked like terror at the airport, pissing in the alley by the spillway Finny called me Finny where you at Finny? Come bail me out son & rescue me for exposing myself in a alley all I was doing was my job agreed? What I get for wearing that orange fucking vest. It did look bankable though Dumbass now you’re back where you better idle & no. Not a fashion statement.