Married on the 1 Train – Grace Dougherty
November 18, 2021
Old College Trick
I want everyone to stay in my life forever
I think about how long I know people all the time
I know every single anniversary
Twenty in Harlem
Ran through
I don’t want your medicine
your sweaty medicine on my carpet
your lies in my mouth your laugh
in my throat your gracie’s in my hand
I had a dream you kicked me
In the chest and then I woke up
When we met I gave you
a hand job in the park on Delancey
I was wearing green eyeliner
You drank Sprite to trick me for later
Crying like a dog in Chinatown
fooling myself all over again
losing more wondering why
pulling teeth out black
blood in my mouth
One of the last times you took me
into a small storage room and fucked
me against the hardwood floor
Just Us a table
a broken television and the floor
where you collapsed
and I crawled out of
A few months later someone
in your building jumped out the window
onto Canal Street
stabbed someone
something
You moved in October
Your stupid grimace
I Asked the Clerk If They Sell Swords Because I Need a Proper Weapon
People like to keep me at arm’s length
I’m bad at things, Boundaries
I just want to love people a lot
I seek reassurance
I get it they don’t care
who wants to read a book
about a white girl who victimizes herself
I can’t listen to Harvest Moon
because it reminds me of November
in Harlem and seeing only one
light outside the window
that I looked at while he
Can’t talk about cherry juice
It’s so niche I don’t think anyone will
I’ll turn purple if I ever see a mulberry
or watch someone stumble out of an Uber Black
High
Dad was in town and had no clue
It’s ok
I didn’t either
Pulse
Holy hell I can’t read another word
about you and your pedestal
Whoever said having a crush is like jail
Literally has a PhD
I can’t believe we went to Smalls with my father
And a week later you were telling me to call 911
If you stopped breathing