Married on the 1 Train – Grace Dougherty

November 18, 2021

Old College Trick

 

I want everyone to stay in my life forever
I think about how long I know people all the time
I know every single anniversary

Twenty in Harlem
Ran through

I don’t want your medicine
your sweaty medicine on my carpet
your lies in my mouth your laugh 
in my throat your gracie’s in my hand

I had a dream you kicked me 
In the chest and then I woke up

When we met I gave you
a hand job in the park on Delancey
I was wearing green eyeliner
You drank Sprite to trick me for later

Crying like a dog in Chinatown
fooling myself all over again
losing more wondering why
pulling teeth out black
blood in my mouth

One of the last times you took me
into a small storage room and fucked
me against the hardwood floor
Just Us a table
a broken television and the floor
where you collapsed
and I crawled out of

A few months later someone
in your building jumped out the window 
onto Canal Street
stabbed someone 
something

You moved in October
Your stupid grimace

 

I Asked the Clerk If They Sell Swords Because I Need a Proper Weapon

 

People like to keep me at arm’s length
I’m bad at things, Boundaries 
I just want to love people a lot

I seek reassurance
I get it they don’t care
who wants to read a book 
about a white girl who victimizes herself

I can’t listen to Harvest Moon
because it reminds me of November
in Harlem and seeing only one
light outside the window
that I looked at while he

Can’t talk about cherry juice
It’s so niche I don’t think anyone will
I’ll turn purple if I ever see a mulberry
or watch someone stumble out of an Uber Black
High

Dad was in town and had no clue
It’s ok
I didn’t either

 

Pulse

 

Holy hell I can’t read another word
about you and your pedestal

Whoever said having a crush is like jail
Literally has a PhD

I can’t believe we went to Smalls with my father
And a week later you were telling me to call 911
If you stopped breathing