MELEK: THE NON-EXISTENT – Binnaz Deniz Yildiz

May 15, 2026

My name is: Melek

I came from the body of darkness

My mother, that obedient and eternal woman

Gave birth to me in the soil, I was breastfed with fear

The sun untied the knots in my hair; my mouth a gap—walls smelling of sleep

A bronze mirror and a stool: The whole of life!

The timid animal fleeing to the mountain, the wounded turtle dove

A captive with the eyes of a death row inmate, saving the last bite for their child

Or as victimized as that human whose head is always kneaded with a gun

I was the aching groin that remains silent, that is silenced!

In the tavern, amidst the ashes, the scent of a car—tobacco cologne—lips…

My vacant stares, my lunchbox, blended with the stale crumbs of broken bread

And instead of school, shivering like a dog in the cold, a cigarette butt on her hip!

At evening time, by the window, the game played by children passing in the street

It was all me, all of it!

Pink, blue, purple, the hand of the colorful mockingbird on my hairpin

Crepe paper, scissor cuts, lipstick stains

Beaten ninety-nine times with a baton, sworn a hundred times!

The Little Mermaid, Snow White, Cinderella: I was all of them!

Melek: The one coming from the darkness

I WAS NEVER BORN, THEREFORE I NEVER EXISTED!