Mnemonic Harmony – J.L. Moultrie
April 16, 2025
diary entry #3
my aura’s a jar moonlight across skin warmth began a lanced
wound bleakly twilight upon dawn we’re placed here too soon
discarded thoughts decoded patterns thoroughly examined
beside hypothetical suicides coaxed my body in tides waist high
my faded identity unbound limits of grief sunken majesties defined
opaquely quelled in restless defenses witnessed my inverted
glory touring regions of my mind transference of inner lives
mimicking theories of being i once tried to be myself absolved
like stones in a stream inclined a true vine grown by chance at last
i was free only to resurface imbued with purpose i was there
convinced of a fixed self hades made me depart i fought only
to be doubly maimed eternally wanting to peer into flames
i learned rage from my own reflections the vague terror of being
made feral wading toward peril several voices within glinting
like kitchenware patience is a virtue i don’t withstand we stood
as strangers described us moments behind us like pillars of salt
ascribed a monument to our love divided spoils with enemies in
gloves we walked toward corner store lights climbed stairs post-
carnal frank ocean blared we left subtly unprepared as you trekked
toward loving me how many times have i uttered your name
septum
the experience of self’s hideous spiraling
mired in
verses of the long dead graven images
led by faith
witnesses draped in linen christmases spent
alone
when surrounded by mirrors doubting
my existence
clearer with intent healed only to invent pain
cistern
withstood several of your letters through winter your father’s
suicide left apertures a mile wide destabilized mailing photos
long past november i shipped my own dropped in the mailbox
cemetery stones on walks back you texted from wisconsin our
parents were much like moving mountains by furnace light i’d
little conscience your last letter said you had a daughter meanwhile
i’m sinning so much obscures my vision weed in my
system you hated when someone said sorry regarding
your dad strides through tall grass faces bearing multitudes what
we seldom had arrives like flash floods no one cares how
you felt only your goodwill acceptance suddenly comes
in front of everyone the quality of wind like memory reveling
in the briefest joy yet indelible worked menial jobs pawned what
i could hardly sobbed until now i watched a cloud in the river
shivered & let go merely a blip on the map wisdom’s hidden
beneath life’s stage scaffolds beside narrow windows god’s
interior anointed flame became like bread shared by a flock
of pigeons unnamed azure perforated foliage adrift standing
over me i vent despite my sense external intent cardinals
flying after the first snow