A spandroid is a humanoid whose constitution and behavior developed as an adjunct to another, more important technology, and exists to support it. Were it not for the important process or object aided by the spandroid, the spandroid would not exist. The muse, so-called, is a spandroid, put into her spot in the ancient cosmogony for the reason that the production of a poem required, for some, the formal acknowledgement of a force outside themselves grooming and selecting their words and dispensing the fiery provender that came to be recognized as a technology called inspiration.
excerpts from a novel written by damien ark, entitled, ‘fucked up’.
pages 12 – 14
It’s essential that I never know the names of the people I hook up with. I don’t want to get close to them. They need to treat me like I’m a cheap blow-up doll and in return I will treat them like a jar of slime.
As a little kid I performed small rituals that I convinced myself contributed to preserving some balance within the universe.
For example: in my childhood home there is a banister that has a total of four knobs that are placed on top of each turn of the stairwell. I had convinced myself that I had to softly tap the top of each knob as I walked down the stairs and then blink my eyes at the moment of my light tapping.
Truth has no desire, expects nothing
Wish that was the way I could just be
Get so tired sometimes hungry
Some fire burning inside of me
A longing crier comes to confess everything
Thought somehow might set me free
A death so dire I could not plea
Some seconds shyer my eyes still see
Slow shots from higher show my blinding
Touch turned to pyre with every degree
Veins on a wire
Tightroped roots of a tree such is we