Preferring to Read – Marston Hefner

August 12, 2025

Preferring to read. Escape from his genius. 

Tell lee to watch end of the tour

I’ve been having many logical explosions lately. A or not a. Sincerity or insincerity. Michael Charon and saying u just have to believe. 

China man cutting dresses homeless man cumming in yoga. How did he come to this? Sink so low? 

If I enjoy it does that mean I’m not being productive? Reading more than writing. What Alexis says. 

Writing like climbing where he work doesn’t make u tired or proofed out? All power moves. Or is my dissatisfaction something inherent that can’t be fixed? Just a little ripple that’s necessary in an overall calm water? 

I love Alli because she is close to superman. 

The content becomes less interesting but how the artist made it their career or book or how they felt making it is still interesting. 

The raver who said he wanted to write a book. They’ll destroy you. I said. Why did I say that? Crush his dreams? I was afraid the same would happen to me. 

I sleep a lot so I smoke less. 

When I smoke weed my mind races. I feel like I have to understand everything. The ghost show with Sophia. So slow were they. 

Both he and I want to achieve on our owns. What a rare virtue for our type. 

U will come down too soon to sack. The affinity I had with the taxi. Did he feel it too? Was I alone in my feeling. That he completely understood me. That sacks fall was near. 

Talk about transgender bathroom, issue. Are they women? 

Mythologizing. Masa I playboy. Like I do u. Alli. 

Cute kid. No control over life. Mom. Good boy. 

Kento looks at music like a craftsman. God drums he likes. Too difficult doesn’t like it. 

Nietzsche and existentialism is so lonely. Like pouring gas on a fire. Exacerbates the problem. Will to power. It’s like Nietzsche doesn’t want help. I doth think thy doth protesters too much. 

If being a good writer doesn’t make me happy. What does? 

Man goes against Zarathustra. Yes they are wEak but I love them. 

Pc has already lost. Not worth fighting. Like kicking a downed person. Suicide line for kid on forum. South Park concern with making a point instead of thinking about quality. 

It is because Nietzsche is right that humanity must end. 

Derida. Go in depth description how he feels about his diary. Like nietzsches feel for life. It’s love. 

Even my friends criticize me. There is no comfort there. What I yearn for is a place to rest and if that is impossible to go on with this painful disposition and produce! Let there be peace. I yearn for. Nietzsche follows me like a curse and blessing. Cursed more like it. Isn’t this connected to Taylor and how his child self had died. His humor had died and selfishness had taken over. 

What do u want? I want to marry u. Hadn’t I grabbed her attention last time we spoke? I’m going to go now. No don’t. She said. 

Learning I could lie. He hit me then said he didn’t. Never occurred to me. 

It never stops. Staring at the horizon. U come back where u are from behind and then go ahead again. Should I stray from the straight line and go to other points? Should I merely wander and likely never come to the start again? Should I plan? 

Mom lacking discipline placed it in others. Nannies. Other parents. Tutors. If only I had stuck to my guns. 

Noting when someone compliments or flatters you is bring an object perception into an I and you relationship. You may be more easily duped with a I and thou perspective. How can u know the other is not treating u as a thing?