– by Xavier “X-Man” Jones.
(Expat Press Staff Tech Support)

Hello, thick wankers.

Have you just failed an internet-record 703 attempts at guessing the “capcha” in order to register your fuckhead self a shitty forlorn account at the completely fuckin’ empty Expat Press forums?

Good!

I designed the capcha specifically to keep ugly wankers like you OUT of the fucken forum.

PISS OFF.

However, if you are desperate to join, here is how to do it.

I built the registration hay wire myself so can safely vouch for this, the ONLY route of finally getting your shitty black wog spic racist cunt self registered at the forii generalis.

First, for the capcha, depress the F3 and Caps Lock/Prt Scr keys simultaneously for 20 minutes, this will eventually pull up the file diagrammed below.

Once you have the file up, simply follow this self-explanatory pathway until you get to “Rest of Brain”:

 
Stupid cunt.

So sick of explaining this basic shit to you newbie wankers.

Next, press F9/S2/alt/porn very gently to enact automatic internet level calibration protocols.

For example, here’s mine:

Next up, those tricky registration questions. Who wrote The King in Yellow? Who wrote Mount Analogue? Who gives a fucken shit! You’ve got better things to do than traipsing around google searching for some old fuckhead hippie wanker book that no cunt likes.

Bypass that horseshit by typing in F7 with Alt/Tab/Proxy, that should bring up the file below, execute and validate, which should prompt the greek code decoder which will decrypt those fucking book authors names that no cunt has ever heard of.

Let the programme run for a week or two, that should do it.

By Day 3 you should be at the stage diagrammed above.

Next phase, colour-key-F6/Y6#hashtag to retrieve your Message Board Tone Analysis Predicator.

Here’s mine:
 

This will automatically lead you to the next stage, your Registration Greek Distributor Cap Phaser:

Obviously you just type in “E3” here.

Stupid newbie cunt.

Next, set AH228 Tab Hashtag E2 parameters via Linux for your paramafied Forii Member Breakdown Analysis Adjudicator.

Here’s mine:

Finally, specify H2/F9/Ctrl to abbrogrify your Internet Activity Breakdown paramafication.

Here’s mine:
 

Hey presto!

Welcome to the forum!

Time to get your cunt on!