Stop Calling Tom Brady the Goat – Jesse Prado

February 10, 2021

Seriously
It just hella fucks me up whenever ppl refer to him as the goat 
Bc I’m the goat 
I mean I’m an actual goat 
Born
And bred by a farmer w my little goat brothers
And sisters
We live on a farm
And they might not think as much about it as I do
But that doesn’t make it any less fucked
“Nothing gets my goat more”

When ppl are like there goes the goat
Losing their shit 
And they’re referring to Tom Brady whether they see him in passing 
Or on the television I’m just like goddamnit 
Not again
A single teardrop falls from my eye

How do you think that makes me feel you know
I have feelings too 
I can’t be the only one 
There are probably other goats out there like me 
Sure there are as I mentioned my goat brothers
And sisters
But I mean goats like me w class
Or species consciousness
Even ppl that think you’re referring to an actual goat
So when they’re like there goes a goat right there 
And you look around all frantic 
Expecting one
Only to find Tom Brady it’s just hella disappointing you know
It’s gotta be to you too 

I mean sure 
He’s the greatest of all time 
But when you’re actually expecting a goat every time 
Or think ppl are referring to you it just 
It just 
It just really begins to wear on you you know 
Your overall morale
Bc then if he’s the goat then like who tf am I 
You know 
It’s an existential thing 
It is 
It’s an existential thing I’ve been going through ever since they made the playoffs 
And the super bowl 
Let alone the win

I mean as soon as they made it 
And everyone started calling him that I was like wait
Hold on though
Wtf 
No
He’s not the goat 
I am
I’m right here guys
It’s me 
But no one could hear me
Cause I can’t talk
But you can
Which is why I’m asking you to help me get my species back
Our name
The others don’t realize

None of my other livestock mates pay it any mind 
So I guess I’m the only one 
The only one w a brain that thinks for their self 
The only one w a brain that thinks for their self at a time like this 
At a time like this where it’s so hard to know who you are 
Where you stand 
In the food chain 
Just an identity 
At a time like this when identity is just that hard to come by 
And just when you think you have it all figured out it gets taken up by this seven time mvp 

Now I understand how my dad felt about Michael Jordan 
That drove him to insanity
And depression 
No 
I’m not crying 
Take the cameras away please