Stop Calling Tom Brady the Goat – Jesse Prado
February 10, 2021
Seriously
It just hella fucks me up whenever ppl refer to him as the goat
Bc I’m the goat
I mean I’m an actual goat
Born
And bred by a farmer w my little goat brothers
And sisters
We live on a farm
And they might not think as much about it as I do
But that doesn’t make it any less fucked
“Nothing gets my goat more”
When ppl are like there goes the goat
Losing their shit
And they’re referring to Tom Brady whether they see him in passing
Or on the television I’m just like goddamnit
Not again
A single teardrop falls from my eye
How do you think that makes me feel you know
I have feelings too
I can’t be the only one
There are probably other goats out there like me
Sure there are as I mentioned my goat brothers
And sisters
But I mean goats like me w class
Or species consciousness
Even ppl that think you’re referring to an actual goat
So when they’re like there goes a goat right there
And you look around all frantic
Expecting one
Only to find Tom Brady it’s just hella disappointing you know
It’s gotta be to you too
I mean sure
He’s the greatest of all time
But when you’re actually expecting a goat every time
Or think ppl are referring to you it just
It just
It just really begins to wear on you you know
Your overall morale
Bc then if he’s the goat then like who tf am I
You know
It’s an existential thing
It is
It’s an existential thing I’ve been going through ever since they made the playoffs
And the super bowl
Let alone the win
I mean as soon as they made it
And everyone started calling him that I was like wait
Hold on though
Wtf
No
He’s not the goat
I am
I’m right here guys
It’s me
But no one could hear me
Cause I can’t talk
But you can
Which is why I’m asking you to help me get my species back
Our name
The others don’t realize
None of my other livestock mates pay it any mind
So I guess I’m the only one
The only one w a brain that thinks for their self
The only one w a brain that thinks for their self at a time like this
At a time like this where it’s so hard to know who you are
Where you stand
In the food chain
Just an identity
At a time like this when identity is just that hard to come by
And just when you think you have it all figured out it gets taken up by this seven time mvp
Now I understand how my dad felt about Michael Jordan
That drove him to insanity
And depression
No
I’m not crying
Take the cameras away please