THE THIRD SIDE OF ME IN THE CRYSTAL TUB – Binnaz Deniz Yildiz

April 6, 2026

Set Me Free!

 

My face sulfur, blurred wire, midnight naked

a woman (dark torso

on the seats of demonic buses)

 

— Can my self in the soil erase my fear,

as much as Nietzsche? On the railings of my grave

where I swim in flames

 

Carrion shadows in the mirrored, sharp groin of my rooms…

an erotic tape spins in my iris / a razor-edged

Dracula licks my blood fragments

 

Leopard… A turbot with teeth of ruby,

wearing a red wizard’s cape,

annihilated my mouth in the void of space

 

My spoilsport god in the gray sky… Every morning

I swallowed his head in your bowl / the world is a delirium

branching out in my chest

 

I dreamed inside that man with iron drawers

last night. “Alzheimer’s” leaping from his thigh to my mind

 

A man on the stairs / or a woman / or perhaps

both… In their hand a chemical telegram / delivered the news:

that I died in the war. My drunken clothes sniff my breath.

 

…

Identity… You… My childhood photo

(the state of horror of the father at home —

my radioactive hair being smashed against walls)

 

I closed my eyes / there — upon it — old newspapers — a tie (or is it a tie I remember?)

the highway where paper collectors perform their ritual…

 

He loaded my blood into the barrel.

Set Me Free!

 

 

He loaded my blood into the barrel. Pressed against my forehead

my ice-cold silhouette.

(fear was another face of mine, played as a violin

by gypsy dancers)

 

There — in the bathroom, inside the crystal tub,

my naked third side

— set me free!

 

Something else, other things, thing, hey!

Ammonia on the tip of my tongue, a planet of the apes /

ghosts in the shape of money around the table…

my motionless personalities

 

And that priest who takes on all my crimes / the torturer soul

muttering the atonement of my sins for me!

An apple in the garden of eden of wakefulness in my sleep.

I am an adolescent girl in the lap of Eros,

My “dissociative” storm in the illusion of time / set me free, FROM MY CHILDHOOD THAT MUTTERS DEATH!