transpondr – Bizarre Miscreant
August 6, 2024
I don’t even remember why we broke up
But i understand now why we had to
And i’m happy we did
_________________
And our birthdays are just days apart
I could easily fall in love with you
I’d let you tear my clothes off
But i don’t think we’d last
_________________
I always know what i want
And i always find it
But learning is having that thing and
Saying, huh
This isn’t what i needed
So assured in a menu selection but
Hating the meal, dissatisfied
Get it right next time
__________________
where is the girl where is her father
in the men she goes after all right and
unaware of the patterns she rewrites
muscle memory is a thing and
where are muscle memories stored in
the brain is a shadowbox–
ing match between then and when
i don’t know the issues that are
associated with dads but two strikes
at bat make a girl get serious
scattered scape stratified mistakes
woven like thread–
count heads count bodies on three hands
or a dozen eggs never fertilized
flower petals open stage
take your seat on his face like
that’s gonna be a no from me dawg
dare to date a cat guy and find out
what consent feels like
like that was cool but what if i
need to reenact my trauma in a safe en–
vironment to complete my therapy what
if rape is okay but we don’t really
acknowledge that like
how instead of why
did a born artist need to study the
sciences like what if she finished
making that sundress then
maybe she wouldn’t need the rain
droplets of sweat on another face
can be intimate and dirty talk
can be clean sometimes
we need to just be at times the
person we were before we looked
to the adults in the room to teach us
a new reaction
GIF like gift me that moment
when i decided i’d rather be
awake at night and it was summer
camp counselor eight years older
and totally illegal, give me that
moment when we fell asleep under the stars
each time our knees touched his real life
faded away and fantasy was palpable
something inescapable awakened in
teenage trajectory some type of time
travel forward looking back upon the
ants on the log behind our heads like
that middle aged man who talked to
me at the wedding reception like
i was his peer
a beautiful man can make me get a
tattoo on my forearm like some
kind of stan and i would only go after
someone like a rabid fan or else it would
be normal like what does plain oatmeal taste like
two point five kids and a white picket fence
who ever dreams about being a bystander to
their own life like just
take it just make it let it
break your religion
and convince yourself that the world has
conspired to bless you
because people are just people until
they give permission to the divinity within